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The Administrator: "Intruder Alert! A RED Spy is in the base!"
[Signs illuminate on a large security panel: "Intruder Alert', 'RED Spy' and 'In Base'; pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board]
Soldier: "A RED Spy is in the base!?"
[Intruder Alert begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "Hut, Hut, Hut!" with every step he takes]
The Administrator: "Protect the briefcase!"
Soldier: "We need to protect the briefcase!"
[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'Briefcase Room' door]
Scout: "Yo, a lil' help here!?"
[The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]
Soldier: "All right, all right, I got it. Stand back son. 1, 1, 1, umm... 1!"
Scout: "Let's go, let's go-"
[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Sasha in hand, charging towards the Scout and Soldier]
Heavy: "INCOMING!"
[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room]
Heavy: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- [screaming]"
[The Scout reaches the desk to discover the briefcase is perfectly safe]
Scout: [while screaming, he notices the briefcase] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"
Heavy: "-AAAAalright then."
Spy: "Ahem."
[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder]
Spy: "Gentlemen."
[Meet the Spy' Title Card]
[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk]
Spy: "I see the briefcase is safe."
Soldier: "Safe and sound, mm-hmm."
Scout: "Yeah, it is!"
Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill a RED Spy on the way here?"
[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]
Spy: No? Then we still have a problem.
[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his back accompanied with a sound cue and varied reactions]
Soldier: "...and a knife."
[The Scout approaches and removes the knife]
Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scumbags - like you!"
[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself with the blunt end on the finger and drop it]
Scout: "Ow! No offense."
Spy: "If you managed to kill them, I assure you, they were not like me." [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout] "And nothing... nothing like the man loose inside this building."
Scout: "What're you? President of his fan club?"
[The Soldier and Heavy chuckle while the Spy turns to face the Scout]
Spy: "No... that would be your mother!"
[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and the Scout's mother while Right Behind You plays]
Scout: "What the?" [stammers out of shock and disbelief]
Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring your mother will be the second worst thing that happens to you today."
[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and shows the Soldier one photo in particular]
Soldier: Oh!
[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground]
Scout: "Gimme that!"
Spy: "This Spy has already breached our defenses..."
[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Engineer. He slides a Sapper across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]
Engineer: "Sentry Down!"
[The BLU Engineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. Cut to behind the closed door as the dead Engineer crashes through the door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen]
[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]
Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"
[Fade to the BLU Sniper, still alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a creaking floorboard, alerting the Sniper, who engages the Spy with the Kukri. A struggle ensues. Spy deftly dodges and parries Sniper’s flailing attacks and counters with fatal strikes; the Sniper is cut across his left cheek (1:55), gutted under the right rib cage (1:57), cut across the back of his skull (1:58), and is ultimately backstabbed (1:59).]
[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]
Spy: "And worst of all, he could be any one of us..."
[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw]
Medic: "Raus, raus!"
[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic]
Medic: [gasps] "Nein..."
[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his spectacles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise]
[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic]
Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be you! He could be me! He could even be-"
[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy and a panicked Scout]
Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"
Heavy: "Oh!"
Soldier: "What? It was obvious!" [The Soldier pumps his Shotgun, discarding the spent shell.] "He's the RED Spy! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."
[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun]
Soldier: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait... that's blood."
Heavy: "So, we still got problem..."
Soldier: "Big problem..."
[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily]
Soldier: All right, who's ready to go find this Spy?"
[As the Scout approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Spy]
Spy: "Right behind you."
[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the stabbing of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]
[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]
[Fade to the scattered photos of the Scout's mother. The RED Spy retrieves one depicting them holding hands on a balcony and smiles wistfully]
Spy: "Ahh... ma petite chou-fleur."
[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's intel in tow. Fade to black.]
What is Ximboland ?
The Fashionable Republic of Ximboland is the worlds first democratic social media platform.
What is its mission?
Ximbolands mission is to serve the world by offering a truly democratic alternative to the established, familiar and autocratic social media platforms.
The establishment of The Fashionable Republic of Ximboland is a response to the widespread demand for a democratic alternative to autocratic social media governance. The world’s major social media platforms claim to be based on good will and fair governance however most seek to impose their world-view on all of their users.
Ximboland recognizes that democracy is the antidote to this problem.
What is the national flag of Ximboland?
When was The Fashionable Republic of Ximboland founded?
2007
What is the capital city of The Fashionable Republic of Ximboland?
Bimbo City
How many states make up The Fashionable Republic of Ximboland?
There are 6 states that make up The Fashionable Republic of Ximboland. They are Atheistia, Freethinkerland, Reasonopia, Agnostica, Secville, and Antitheocra. Bimbo City is the neutral administrative capital and is its own city zone. Booby Island is the home of the President of the Fashionable republic of Ximboland - Sindy Laarson I aka Miss Bimbo
What is a Ximbo xitizen?
A ‘Ximbo xitizen’ is a citizen of The Fashionable Republic of Ximboland. All citizens must be at least 18 years old.
What is a Ximbo?
Some people define a Ximbo as a superhuman - blessed with extraordinary good looks, intelligence and fashion sense.
Some people claim a Ximbo is a genderless or nonbinary superhuman.
Either way - all Ximbos possess the X factor.
How can I become a Ximbo xitizen?
In order to become a xitizen of Ximboland you must first pass the Ximboland xitizens test. It is free to become a Ximbo xitizen.
What is a Ximbo senator?
A Ximbo senator is a senior member of The Fashionable Republic of Ximboland. Only xenators are eligible to put themselves forward for election to senior government roles. Ximbos also get 10 x votes in all elections so they really do shape Ximbolands future.
What is a Ximbo minister?
A Ximbo minister is an elected or appointed official in the Ximboland government. These Ximbos are our leaders.
Who is the Prime Ximbo?
The Prime Ximbo is the democratically elected head of The Fashionable Republic of Ximboland.
Where does the Prime Ximbo live?
The Prime Ximbo lives in the Pink House for the 3 month term they are in office.
I want to become a minister or Prime Ximbo. How do I do that?
Any Ximbo citizen can become Prime Ximbo using the democratic process. Its a 2 stage process from Senator>Prime Ximbo. All Ximbo xitizens can vote in general elections but in order to put themselves forward to become Prime Ximbo/a minister they must first become a Ximbo senator.
Can I become Prime Ximbo more than once?
Yes a Ximbo can hold the position of Prime Ximbo for 6 terms max.
How often do elections take place?
The Fashionable Republic of Ximboland holds elections every 3 months for Prime Ximbo and every 3 months for State Ministers.
Where do important discussions take place?
The Town Square.
What is the treasury/ministers/Prime Ximbos salary?
The treasury/salary is the bank account of The Fashionable Republic of Ximboland. This figure is transferred to the paypal account of the Prime Ximbo at the end of their 3 month term in charge.
How is the treasury calculated?
The treasury is funded by the Ximbo xenators.
A percentage (33%) of the money paid by Ximbo xenators via Paypal is transferred into the Ximbo treasury. The rest is used for further Ximboland development.
What are the national colours of Ximboland?
Pink and purple
How old must I be in order to become a Ximboland
xitizen?
Anyone over the age of 18 can become a Ximbo xitizen.
When are the national holidays of Ximbo
land?
Jan 1st New years day
Feb 12th Darwin day
Feb 14th Lovers day
March 8th Womens day
March 21st Spring solstice
April 13th The Hitchslap Day (Christopher Hitchens birthday)
May 3rd National day of reason
June 21st World Humanist Day
Aug 2nd The Fashionable Republic of Ximboland national day
Sep 21st Peace one day
Dec 25th Newtons birthday
What are the currencies of Ximboland?
The Ximbo Dollar (B$). Currently it is pegged in value to the US$ and the Ximbo Diamond.
Who is the President of Ximboland?
Sindy Laaron I aka Miss Bimbo is the President of Ximboland. She founded the great bimbo nation in 2007 after escaping the tyranny, poor fashion jealousy of the old world. You can read more about her here
and here
Where is MissBimbo.com?
The Fashionable Republic of Ximboland was created by Miss Bimbo herself and is its successor.