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Ximboland Clock

Mental Health check-in

Posts
844
Created
08.07.2019
Author
Starbuck
z0mb1e_d0llz
Level 8
Status: Legal Alien
Sex Appeal: 423
Reputation: 421
Posts: 24
Antitheocra
17.10.2022 15:51:14
z0mb1e_d0llz

its getting worse <3

17.10.2022 15:51:14
frutilla
Level 23
Status: Citizen
Sex Appeal: 9404
Reputation: 4288
Posts: 8
Freethinkerland
18.10.2022 00:41:25
frutilla

im turning 17 in like 2 hrs and i feel like an absolute failure

18.10.2022 00:41:25
 ♡˖⁺. ༶ ⋆˙⊹grab my titty and call me pretty~ ♡˚₊‧⁺˖  
socks_154
Level 17
Status: Citizen
Sex Appeal: 3629
Reputation: 2765
Posts: 122
Freethinkerland
18.10.2022 01:23:12
socks_154

I think something is seriously wrong with me. I feel generally OK mentally. However, I've been experiencing periods where the world seems unreal. Everything is there, but it isn't. Everything is slightly off. You can hear everything, but slightly louder. The lights are just slightly too bright. It is like looking at your life through a movie lens. I feel like I entered a different reality. Basically it feels like when you look at images of the back rooms. It usually happens at night, around 8 PM. I'm not really new to derealization tbh, but I don't think the other things happening are normal... I feel like I can't trust my friends anymore. I think they're monsters. I genuinely feel like I am in a different reality. I'm scared to tell my friends. I can't tell if they're actually my friends or if they'll rip their human suits off and release some sort of demon and try to kill me. One thing that brings me slight comfort when this happens is staring at a screen of some sort. It feels like a portal back to my own world, it feels safe. My friends feel safe. But I can't be sure the screen is actually a portal to my own world. What if I am alone in the reality I am in? I want to talk to my friends for help, they feel safe- but I can't trust them. My mind tells me they are safe, but what if they are really monsters and have implanted false memories in me? What if I am actually the monster? When I look into the mirror when this is happening, I don't feel like my body is my own. It's my body, but it also... isn't. My eyes look empty. My body feels like nothing and it is not mine. When this is all happening the walls start buzzing like bees and I start seeing shadow people. I saw three sitting to the right of my desk, they were staring at me like I was on the executioner's block. I stared at them and they stared back at me, even when they had no eyes. I saw a shadow person- an outline of a younger girl- outside my window earlier that night. When I saw her, she very quickly walked out of my view, * towards my door *. As she moved I heard a higher pitched gurgly giggle noise. I am not sure how to describe it. The next night it happened again, I felt a presence in my house with me. I could not move from my desk for three hours. I could feel the presence sitting across from me, on the other side of my screen... waiting for me to look. A shadow on the living room wall kept morphing. It wasn't the shape of a person or anything but it really freaked me out. Another time this happened I was in my room and creatures straight out of a creepypasta were calling my name surrounded by my old childhood toys. They were telling me about the expansion of the universe, and how my life was meaningless... I see one of the creatures (looks like a mix of the Rake and the Russian Sleep Experiment thing) a lot. I just see him opening my bedroom door, then he quickly disappears. 

Does anyone know what this means? Sorry it's a mess and a giant block I don't know how to... construct it? Lol

18.10.2022 01:23:12
 

                                        
frutilla
Level 23
Status: Citizen
Sex Appeal: 9404
Reputation: 4288
Posts: 8
Freethinkerland
18.10.2022 04:26:56
frutilla

hey beautiful i really think you should seek professional help. this worries me a little more than the average depressive thought. i understand that you feel like you cant trust your friends, but i still think you should try to get help. if you dont want to be so direct, maybe you can leave little hints here and there, like some kind of behavior that may warn them about your mental state, if you cant let them know by talking, then make them notice you by your behaviors. from what you wrote, i get that not only have you been feeling paranoid, but also having allucinations of some sort. this is not normal, and please dont let it get worse. i sincerely hope you get better, and i wish nothing but the best for you. maybe my lame ass advice wasnt much help at all, but please try to get help, even if the way you do it is unconventional. get well soon beautiful.  

18.10.2022 04:26:56
 ♡˖⁺. ༶ ⋆˙⊹grab my titty and call me pretty~ ♡˚₊‧⁺˖  
Rott
Level 47
Status: Citizen
Sex Appeal: 81003
Reputation: 25256
Posts: 51
Reasonopia
26.10.2022 21:35:19
Rott

Well, I really need to vent.
I feel so bad recently and just after I made so much progress in therapy, I feel like I'm in a spiral again and soon I'll be back to my old self. I'm really scared of that. My confidence got better and everything, I stopped biting my nails and actually started using cream on my face and caring at all... but now I can't look at myself and I feel so disgusting. I'll never be just how I want to be and I still can't accept it. In the time that I got better I also got a crush who I actually see everyday but there's not much connection between us. I wanted to strike up a conversation a few days ago and he didn't even see me. I guess there's a bit of a height difference but the silence for like, more than 4 seconds got me so stressed that I ran away and I feel pathetic now. I have no experience irl, I'm in bad place mentally so I don't want to dump it all on anyone, I don't really have anyone about my age to talk to about it. Even if he didn't do it on purpouse it still hurt me bad, because I already started feeling worse, hating myself, so this just made it worse. I also feel bad for being so sensitive to the point of crying about basic everyday tasks. I was hoping I'd continue to make progress and feel better, but the fear was just too much for me to overcome. I just hope I don't get into my self-destructive habits again and just push through it all. Well, maybe I should also stop having any hopes for someone to notice me and make me feel appreciated and worthy of love. I also feel bad for being close to my parents. I mean, it's a good thing and I'm happy that our relationship is pretty good but I feel like I should have a life outside my house and occasional trips with family. I want it, but at the same time I don't have energy, confidence or courage to go out. I feel like I'm wasting the best years of my life...

26.10.2022 21:35:19

CinnamonSugar
Level 160
Status: Citizen
Sex Appeal: 3224384
Reputation: 313006
Posts: 6732
Freethinkerland
26.10.2022 23:35:10
CinnamonSugar

This may help Rott but this message is for everyone else, too...

When you're feeling down, it can be helpful to look back at the progress you made.

Progress does not always occur in a straight line. I liken my own journey with mental health to hiking. Most hiking trails don't lead straight up a mountain. Instead, the path tends to be more gradual & it may seem to double back on itself at times. 

I have been in a psychiatric hospital 5x. I have been on over 30 psychiatric medications, including ketamine. I still don't think I feel "normal." I still get insomnia. I still cope with anhedonia. I still get intrusive memories. Etc. But I have also made progress. 
There was a point where I was unemployed, crying on my floor every day. I am now employed full time & actually am able to get up to go to work. I have not worked anywhere longer than 2 years, unlike some people, but this is still progress for me.

There was a point where I was unable to drive even a short distance due to anxiety. I now drive an hour one-way to & from work. The longest drive I've made is probably about 3 hrs, which is not as long as others I know, but it is progress to me. 

It may be helpful to write down the ways you have made progress & keep the list somewhere to look at when you are feeling discouraged. 

26.10.2022 23:35:10
“If you know someone who’s depressed, please resolve never to ask them why. Depression isn’t a straightforward response to a bad situation; depression just is, like the weather.” ~Stephen Fry
Living with depression? Connect with others at the Mental Health Check-in.
kittysnackz
Level 13
Status: Citizen
Sex Appeal: 1413
Reputation: 1299
Posts: 25
Atheista
27.10.2022 21:13:03
kittysnackz

feel like im living life in 3rd person,, my memory is getting worse and worse and i can barely remember anything anymore - past or present. i also keep getting intrusive thoughts and im starting to hate myself more each day.

27.10.2022 21:13:03

banbunnies
Level 26
Status: Citizen
Sex Appeal: 13553
Reputation: 12516
Posts: 103
Secville
01.11.2022 09:29:35
banbunnies

ive been getting better, thats all i focus on

01.11.2022 09:29:35
banbunnies 
 ∧_∧
(。・ω・。)つ━☆・*。
⊂   ノ    ・゜+.
しーJ   
CinnamonSugar
Level 160
Status: Citizen
Sex Appeal: 3224384
Reputation: 313006
Posts: 6732
Freethinkerland
01.11.2022 09:41:10
CinnamonSugar

Saw my psychiatrist. I will be starting a new medication tomorrow which will be drug #34.

01.11.2022 09:41:10
“If you know someone who’s depressed, please resolve never to ask them why. Depression isn’t a straightforward response to a bad situation; depression just is, like the weather.” ~Stephen Fry
Living with depression? Connect with others at the Mental Health Check-in.
ladabunni
Level 64
Status: Citizen
Sex Appeal: 201787
Reputation: 66742
Posts: 319
Atheista
03.11.2022 18:26:50
ladabunni

Today sucked and I felt very self concious. I have been increasingly anxious the last few months. Taking it one minute at a time <3 I just hope I get better
Btw what you wrote was beautiful CinnamonSugar. Proud of you! Thinking about it, I have made progress too. Last year I was in a way worse place, and the years prior, even worse. Thanks for the reminder <3<3<3<3

03.11.2022 18:26:50
 

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Frequently Asked Questions


What is Ximbo land ?
The Internet republic of Ximbo lands is the worlds first Internet republic.

What is its mission?
To unite the world.

Where is MissBimbo.com? Miss Bimbo was much better than this site.
The Internet republic of Ximbo land was created by Miss Bimbo herself and is its more intelligent successor. The old site was for junior bimbos. This site is for intelligent Ximbos.

What is the national flag of Ximbo land?
Ximbolands Flag

When was the Internet republic of Ximbo land founded
2007

What is the capital city of the Internet republic of Ximbo land?
Bimbo City

How many states make up the internet republic of Ximbo land?
There are 6 states that make up the internet republic of Ximbo lands. They are ­ Atheistia, Freethinkerland, Reasonopia, Agnostica, Secville, and Antitheocra. Bimbo City is the neutral administrative capital and is its own city zone. Boob Island is the home of the President of the Internet republic of Ximbo land

What is a Ximbo citizen?
A ‘Ximbo’ or ‘Ximbo citizen’ is a member of the internet republic of Ximbolands community.

How can I become a Ximbo citizen?
In order to become a citizen of Ximboland you must first pass the Ximbolands citizens test. It is free to become a Ximbo citizen.

What is a Ximbo senator?
A Ximbo senator is a senior member of the Internet republic of Ximbo land. Only senators are eligible to put themselves forward for election to become State Ministers and then ultimately the Prime Ximbo.

Who is the Prime Ximbo?
The Prime Ximbo is the democratically elected head of the Internet republic of Ximbo land.

Where does the Prime Ximbo live?
The Prime Ximbo lives in the Pink House for the 4 month term they are in office.

I want to become Prime Ximbo. How do I do that?
Any Ximbo citizen can become Prime Ximbo using the democratic process. Its a 3 stage process from Senator>State Minister> Prime Ximbo. All Ximbo citizens can vote in general elections but in order to put themselves forward to become Prime Ximbo they must first become a Ximbo senator. All Ximbo senators are electable as state ministers. State Minister elections take place every 4 months also. Only state ministers are eligible to then become the Prime Ximbo.

Can I become Prime Ximbo more than once?
Yes ­ a Ximbo can hold the position of Prime Ximbo for 3 terms max.

How often do elections take place?
The Internet republic of Ximbolands holds elections every 4 months for Prime Ximbo and 4 months for State Minister.

Where do important discussions take place?
The Forum.

What is the treasury/Prime Ximbos salary?
The treasury/salary is the bank account of the Internet republic of Ximbo land. This figure is transferred to the paypal account of the Prime Ximbo at the end of their 4 month term in charge.

How is the treasury calculated?
The treasury is funded by the Ximbo citizens.
A percentage of the money paid by Ximbo citizens via Paypal and SMS is transferred into the Ximbo treasury. The rest is wisely used for further game development.

What's the national colour of Ximbo land?
Pink

How old must I be in order to become a Ximbo land citizen?
Anyone over the age of 18 are welcome to become a Ximbo citizen.

When are the national holidays of Ximbo land?
Jan 1st ­ New years day
Feb 12th ­ Darwin day
Feb 14th ­ Lovers day
March 8th ­ Womens day
March 21st ­ Spring solstice
April 13th ­ The Hitchslap Day (Christopher Hitchens birthday)
May 3rd ­ National day of reason
June 21st ­ World Humanist Day
Aug 2nd ­ The Internet republic of Ximbo land national day
Sep 21st ­ Peace one day
Dec 25th ­ Newtons birthday

What is the currency of Ximbo land?
The Ximbo Dollar (B$). Currently it is pegged in value to the US$

Who is the President of Ximbo land?
Miss Bimbo is the president of Ximbo land. She founded the bimbo nation in 2007 after escaping the tyranny, bigotry and and conservatism of the old world. You can read more about her here and here

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