hi hi, this is a topic i feel very strongly about and thought it would be an interesting thing to rant about in our silly little arena. 

first and foremost, this is not an attack on men or masculine presenting people. this is not meant to invalidate the very real struggles that impact masculine and/or amab people as they develop. please try to absorb what i am saying as what i am saying, and i apologize beforehand for my wording potentially coming across as aggressive as i know that when i feel passionately about something it can come across as such :)

basically. i find it absolutely abhorrent how society treats tween-age girls. i find the influence it has on society disgusting. i am not a "fuck all men" feminist, but i very much cannot stand blatant misogyny because of how it impacts little girls. little girls are not allowed to be little girls without consequence. from the time you are little you are praised for very few things outside of your physical appearance. you are constantly met with "oh you better keep her away from all the boys. she'll cause you trouble with that face*" not only are your looks your one strength, they are an inherent societal blight. you are taught to accept backhanded compliments with grace. because it was "meant well" right? but you are conditioned to accept that what makes you girly is both good and bad all at once.

you are encouraged to take up "girly" habits. and there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with that. some little girls love dolls and playing house and wearing pretty dresses. you are allowed to love that. but you are criticized by your peers for that. you're such a girl. you're such a priss. it's funny when someone dirties your clothes, because femininity is uncool.

you are encouraged to take up "boyish" or "androgynous" habits. and there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with that. some little girls love playing in the mud, collecting cards, and rough housing. you are allowed to love that. but you are criticized by your peers. you're trying too hard. you're not actually into that. you're just weird. it's funny when someone says you're not a real girl, because not embracing femininity is uncool.

you may discover something you like. that a lot of girls your age like. be it one direction, twilight, rainbow loom bracelets, or horses. not allowed. you're cringey. you're too intense. you're such a girl. are things boys love with such intensity criticized to that extent? no. but do we talk about that? no. you're a girl, and that's wrong. how dare you.

perhaps you don't enjoy what those other girls enjoy. be it video pokemon, anime, or rap music. not allowed. you're a pick me. you're cool, very cool, but you're one of the guys. because being a girl is uncool. but not being a girl is also uncool, because you're just doing it to get boys aren't you?

we do not allow little girls to be little girls. the things that they are known to enjoy are minimized and put into the box of "girl things" and therefore uncool. the things we do not expect them to enjoy they are still picked on for, not because what they enjoy is uncool, but because their existence is uncool. music as we know it would not be the same without the intensity of little girl that enjoys her favorite band. point blank period. but a fan of one direction is insufferable right? for what reason. did we criticize the fanboys of nirvana or kendrick to an even comparable extent? absolutely not. little girls are passionate. they are expressive. they have such unbridled joy. but they are not allowed to exist as they are. because being a girl is a crime they will forever have to atone for.

some men would sooner allow a woman to be acquited for murder than discuss her period (see: court trial of lizzy borden). some men would sooner pretend they simply dont listen to music than admit they enjoy selena gomez outside of sexualizing her. i find it tragic how little girls are treated. i find it disgusting how nothing a little girl does is considered correct. absolutely nothing is outside of scrutiny. let little girls be little girls.

i find people who criticize twilight for existing to be silly. it was written for girls. it was not meant to be a literary masterpiece. it is a piece of fan fiction. to attack it as if it was something else is a foundational flaw. allow little girls to enjoy what is meant for them. i find people who roll their eyes at one directioners to be silly. it is not a musical piece meant for the elderly to scoff at. it is a boy band meant to attract and dazzle young girls.

and not all girls enjoy such things. but it is not for the male gaze. people are allowed a breadth of interests as it is what makes you human. you are allowed to have that strength and intensity for anything. one could argue that some girls feel pressured to enjoy boyish things out of the criticism they have seen and experienced for girly things. but that is neither here nor there and if anything strengthens my argument.

a girl is not allowed to simply be a girl. and it’s disgusting. which is why i quite enjoy the “i’m literally just a girl” meme. allow me to be just a girl. allow me to exist as i am whether it be intensely feminine or bizarre or grotesque. girls do not need to be boxed up. they do not need to be ogled at no matter how they choose to exist. they are literally just girls

there is an “ideal man.” there exists a cookie cutter man that is attainable (though at the personal detriment to many). there can be a “perfect” man. but there will never exist a perfect woman. if we detach ourselves from modern views and takes and go back a few decades we can see this in a more pure and easy to understand way. i do fully acknowledge that going back in time does put flaws into my point as some things (particularly in reference to how we view men) have changed.

a perfect man is accepted in a few ways. a man can be single into his old age. a man can settle down. a man can age. a man can work a blue collar job. a man can be promiscuous. a man who is strong and depicts traditionally masculine traits is societally perfect. he is allowed to be perfect

the first instinct is to depict a perfect woman as a stay at home mother. a soccer mom. i argue that this is still not perfect. enter the concept of the madonna and the whore. both are ideals women are meant to aspire to and embody. the perfect woman should be both demure and sexual. the perfect woman should be both stunning and homely. the perfect woman must contradict herself in her existence to attain perfection. the stay at home mom embodies the madonna, however is a prude and boring. her husband cannot be faulted for chasing other women because she is not exciting. the whore is a dream for a few nights. but she will become a spinster, used goods, she is not the one the man wants to come home to. there does not exist a cookie cutter for a woman

again, that is not meant to invalidate the very real oppression put onto young boys and the societal pressures they will endure throughout their life. there are many excruciating torments a man is expected to endure to maintain that perfection. my only point is that there is no point of perfection for a woman. and again i must point out that in the current day and age you could argue that the existence of a perfect man has disintegrated to some extent. though i do believe an ideal for a man still exists. and perhaps the level of scrutiny i view an “ideal woman” with is not the same as that of the “ideal man”

but thanks for letting me ramble :) that will be all

honestly she said everything i wanted to. thank u tibby <33

I understand your frustration. I believe there are significant differences in how society treats boys and girls, influenced by cultural norms, expectations, and stereotypes. While I won't comment on other cultures, I can speak about the U.S. context.

From a young age, boys are often encouraged to be assertive and competitive, while girls are typically taught to be nurturing and cooperative. This socialization can lead to different interests and behaviors. Nowadays, there’s the “girl boss” mentality, which promotes the idea that girls must be strong and independent, suggesting boys are not needed. This narrative can be more harmful than beneficial overall, and it may also stem from the experiences of single mothers raising children, which is a separate issue. I've also noticed that girls sometimes reinforce this narrative among their peers through gaslighting, suggesting that those who disagree are not aligned with "girl power".

Regarding expectations around appearance, it seems that women often set the standards for how girls should look. The beauty ideals showcased on social media are primarily defined by women, leading boys to believe that these are the norms for female beauty.

When it comes to emotional expression, girls are often encouraged to show their feelings, while boys might be seen as "weak" or "gay" for doing the same. There's also a stigma around boys engaging in activities deemed "feminine," such as playing with dolls or dressing up, which has now evolved to them being trans.

Safety today have created complexities around female spaces. Girls may feel that their spaces are no longer exclusive to them, as they are urged to be inclusive of boys, leading to questions about whether this stems from misogyny or is a push from women advocating inclusivity. I believe it’s a bit of both.

In schools, boys sometimes face harsher discipline for misbehavior than girls do. This may be due to stereotypes that label girls as just being emotional or the impression that boys can cause more disruption. I’m not entirely certain about the reasons behind this.

The differences in treatment can vary widely depending on the context. This isn’t to suggest that girls don’t face significant disadvantages in situations that infringe upon their rights and freedoms.It is worth noting that sometimes women can be each other’s greatest allies, but at times they can also be their worst enemies.

But do we want girls to be treated exactly the same as boys? Personally, I wouldn’t advocate for that; instead, I believe both should be regarded as equally important and deserving of love and attention. It's about equality in value, while recognizing and celebrating our differences.