porn over sex?

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139
Created
09.10.2018
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Freethinkerland
09.10.2018 23:01:32
Neecie Valentine

So I've been dating this guy for about 6 months now, we aren't official but we are exclusive to one another. Lately when we have sex he has been wanting to put on porn and TBH it seems to be the only way he can get off now. In the beginning that was never a problem but over the course of time I've noticed a difference in his sex drive and noticed that it takes him a long time to climax (if he even climax at all) without having porn on. I've started to feel very insecure and even questioned him on the matter and he swears its not me. He promises he still find me very attractive both physically and sexually and that nothing has changed in his feelings towards me. I trust him so I don't think he is finding pleasure elsewhere,but I just his new find habit a bit strange!! i hate feeling insecure so I'm reaching out to all my fellow bimbos/himbos for your opinions,advice, suggestions, or stories!! no judgement here so please feel free to speak your mind!!

xoxo,
Neeice Valentine <3



09.10.2018 23:01:32
You can follow the crowd OR you can lead it
State Minister

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Antitheocra
09.10.2018 23:47:35
Sandi Lut

Well this is not something that can be solved overnight. Neither is there a simple solution to this problem. Porn unfortunately has changed the way many people perceive sex. In porn anything is possible, all participants seem to have a limitless condition, everything seems simple and easy to get.

Have you asked him how much he watches porn? I have a suspicion he watches it every day. If so than you're dealing with an addict. I am not judging but if he does watch porn every single day then this is the problem. He needs to detox then. Which means he has to completely stop watching porn, at least for a long while.

This way his brain and body can get back to the state where he gets aroused by you and the thought of having sex with you. I am just trying to think with you both. But it seems like he has a porn addiction. And ANY addiction is bad. So he needs to stop watching porn. If he does, believe me he will get back to being able to have sex with you without porn. It is not easy to kick off an addiction but he really needs to. It's unhealthy as you already are experiencing. He will have withdrawal symptoms like having a really bad mood and maybe worse. But unfortunately those are the side effects of getting rid of an addiction. You and him will both have to be patient and understanding towards each other and it will be a really rough time. But the reward is a healthy relationship and sex life.
I am not saying watching porn is bad, I am saying being addicted to it is bad.

I am not saying this is the solution as I don't know you both and I only have the information you're sharing. But I suspect this (a porn addiction) is what is going on and if so then this is the only solution. Good luck and be strong! If he truly loves you he will do this for you.

09.10.2018 23:47:35
Happiness is inside yourself

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Reasonopia
09.10.2018 23:55:06
Esuna

Personally I'd find it a bit concerning, because to me it says he might be mentally overstimulated by porn that now he absolutely needs it when he's with a woman.Might actually be he could have a hidden addiction with too much reliance that now it's like he needs double stimulation? 

It's not you 100% because honestly any other man would have sex with you most likely in an instant without needing any porn lol. It sounds like something behind closed doors is going on with him whether it is over mental stimulation, drug/alcohol issues, or mental illness (depression/anxiety etc can just wreck havoc on someone's sex life). Sounds like it's something you need to sit down and talk about outside of sexual time to see what's really going on with him. He's right, it's not you at all.

09.10.2018 23:55:06
 Very busy with school at the moment, so temporary hiatus D:.
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Freethinkerland
10.10.2018 02:53:51
Cum_Dumpster

Agree with the previous two posts, but be forewarned, confronting someone about something that they may already feel insecure about, or about stopping something that they are addicted to, it can be...tricky. Many times, they get defensive, and angry, and just bloody unbearable. But it's the first difficult step to what hopefully can be a healing and strengthening process for both of you, and your relationship.
Also, avoid the word "addict" if at all possible when you converse with him. While he may actually be addicted to it, HE may not realize it. On top of that, he may not be addicted to it, and like Esuna said, he could be having some other mental health related problems, and is looking to porn as a form of escape.
I wish you the best of luck, and I wish there were easier ways to handle issues like this!

10.10.2018 02:53:51
ChumDumpster's wife irl  
Update 2022: Site has been soured for me so I took a break. Still not certain about coming back...
Citizen

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Freethinkerland
14.10.2018 01:29:58
Neecie Valentine

wow i really appreciate the feed back ladies!!! I will definitely take a few things from this post and hopefully be able to confront and solve the problem!!! Rome wasn't built in a day so i know i will have to be patient with him. I feel he truly loves me so i'm praying things will go smoothly, like cum_dumpster said it can be very tricky approaching someone with an addiction so wish me luck! i will keep u all posted!!

thanks again!!
Neecie Valentine

14.10.2018 01:29:58
You can follow the crowd OR you can lead it
Citizen

Level 37
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Agnostica
06.11.2018 22:31:45
Setsy

Any update Neecie?

06.11.2018 22:31:45
State Minister

Level 289
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Antitheocra
06.11.2018 22:41:40
Sandi Lut

Good question! I am curious myself if there is any development

06.11.2018 22:41:40
Happiness is inside yourself

Citizen

Level 52
Sex Appeal 107752
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Posts 30
Freethinkerland
07.11.2018 02:48:51
Neecie Valentine

Yes!!!!!! funny you ask because I ended things all together this past weekend actually. some red flags just can't be ignored. I know my worth and at my age i REFUSE to be treated any less then i should!! you guys are amazing though!! i really appreciate you'll feed back

Setsy
wrote:
Any update Neecie?


07.11.2018 02:48:51
You can follow the crowd OR you can lead it
Citizen

Level 52
Sex Appeal 107752
Reputation 43046
Posts 30
Freethinkerland
07.11.2018 02:51:35
Neecie Valentine

sorry ladies!! i should've posted the night it all went down but i was a little emotional. All is well on my end now, had to reflect and remind myself about self worth!!!

07.11.2018 02:51:35
You can follow the crowd OR you can lead it
Citizen

Level 18
Sex Appeal 4370
Reputation 3924
Posts 19
Atheista
08.11.2018 10:58:51
kaden1982

I do hope you are alright and that you’re not going through a difficult time and that you are still enjoying making out, if you need advices or just someone to talk to please do not hesitate to hit me up!

08.11.2018 10:58:51

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