I'm queer and I'm super lucky to be in the situation I'm in now. I have queer friends who are able to relate and sympathize with me and cishet friends who are supportive of me. I'm in college in a major where a majority of people are queer, so everyone is respectful of pronouns and different identities. Even though the place I live in general is known for not being friendly to the LGBT+ community, I'm glad I've found my niche.

When I was younger, I went to a religious school that was super homophobic. I wasn't out and I was terrified someone was going to find out somehow. I had to listen to teachers bad mouth the LGBT+ community for many years. The depth of people's hatred for certain people's existence just because they're different never ceases to amaze me. After I moved to a different school, I saw people who were unapologetically out and I hesitantly told a few people I was queer. Once I realized nothing bad was going to happen, I became more open. I've been out since then.

As a part of the LGBT community as well, I've seen so many things that we, as a community have been lacking in the past, specially with other queer people, I mean, we are supposed to be a "hate free" community, but as soon as someone identify as pretty much other than gay or lesbian people want to invalidate you.

I say this because I am a trans and bisexual guy, and as soon as other people have got to know that they start to question your identity, why r u trans? why r u bi? u can't like more than one gender, u were born x way, u can't change that, I can't be with you because you are not a real (insert gender) and I guess that's a big problem, us as a community have, invalidating people and not respecting them or being tolerant towards others is a big issue, and a little bit hypocritical from a lot of us (I say us because I'm refering to us as a whole community) to do so, how can we preach and praise respect, tolerance and love when we don't do that and put it aside???

I'm part of the LGBTQ community. As a Kid I was against them because I was worried about being judged a lot but I started to have feelings towards certain Genders. I founded out I'm a Bisexual when I was 12 or 13 or maybe 14. And I stayed that way until I came out a Demiwoman(Demigirl) in 2019 or 2020 because I somewhat didn't feel like a girl somewhat. But I thought have feelings if I was Demiwoman or Genderfluid. Because I thinking I am a Real Demiwoman or Transman or Nonbinary or Bigender. I came out as Genderfluid in 2021. Because I feel like I somedays I'm a Boy, Somedays I'm a girl, someday both somedays not at all. But I came out as Transmasculine this year because I do like a little be Masculine at time but I'm still Genderfluid but also Transmasculine. My family supported me for who I am. I feel like people at time can try to find out who they are as a person. If you changed that that's fine. If your questioning that's fine as well. I won't judge.

I'm new here and this is my very first post, so bear with me, but hi. The LGBT community-- both online and in the real world-- raised me. I have identified as trans since I was 12 and I have been on testosterone for a full year as of today, weirdly enough, so the idea of sharing our stories and experiences in this thread is giving me this weird feeling of sentimentality and fondness, but that's not really the point. I've got plenty of horrifying/embarrassing/hatecrimey/uplifting shit I could say about being openly and visibly trans in the bible belt of the states, and opinions about the resident discourse to boot, but really I'd just like to express my gratitude and positivity towards the only elder gay to really ever take me under his wing-- my ex-coworker, Brent. 

Brent is a lot of things. For the sake of the topic, he is, first and foremost, a gay man. But he is also a science teacher, a father, a husband (three times!), an ex-addict, an on-screen actor (he slept with Oscar Isaac back before his career really took off, and had the photos to prove it, I wish I was joking, you don't have to believe me and honestly I think he showed me these images KNOWING no one would ever believe me), an ex-stripper (again, you don't have to believe me, but I've seen the proof with my own eyes, unfortunately), a murderer (lol oops), a funnyman, and a damn good bartender. We worked together at this comically shitty local restaurant for years. He met me before I was out as trans, which had more to do with my living situation than anything, and we had this running gag where we were a dynamic duo; a teenage butch lesbian and an old gay man, heckling each other 24/7. Think Deadpool and Negasonic Teenage Warhead. Anyway, the customers fucking loved it for some reason, dinner and a show, but it wasn't really an act for him. The insults were his way of showing affection. And he totally spoke my language. I won't lie, a huge part of why he took to me so quickly was because I was LGBT, but my idea of the gay (umbrella term) community is a little different from his. This modernized version of our community isn't the one he was raised by, and honestly, I think his idea of the community helped to shape mine-- we clicked because we were gay, and in the south, when Brent was growing up and becoming apart of/learning about the movement himself, it was the unspoken truth that people like us have to look out for and protect one another no matter what. Because we're a family, all of us. From day one he was beside me, softening the blows from our crazy-ass managers, giving me pointers on how to dress and talk to people in our small, closed-minded town in ways that would keep me safe(ish). When you're a butch lesbian, you have to try twice as hard at everything, all the time, to so much as even be spoken to or acknowledged-- a concept that I don't think I ever fully wrapped my brain around (I'd wager that has something to do with me not being a lesbian in the first place). One of the most memorable and literal examples happened my very first night working-- it wasn't enough for me to dress like the other hostesses, business-casual type beat. I had to be sleek and refined. I came in with a patterned buttondown and slacks & this guy dragged me to the bathroom, showed me how to re-style my hair for fine dining, how to clean myself up properly, showed me where to find clothes that were all black. Stuff he'd learned from lesbian friends around his own age. I came in the next day dressed per his instruction and he told me I looked like Winona Ryder. Ha! 

Anyway, we got pretty close. He'd lost his kid in a freak accident over a decade ago but never let go of that fatherly/motherly instinct; near the end of our time working together, I came out as transgender and quickly found myself disowned by my blood family, so Brent stepped in and became like a father to me, even though he didn't fully understand the trans thing. It was a time in my life where I seriously needed the guidance of an adult to figure my shit out, and I will never, ever be able to repay him for what he did for me. He taught me how to do my taxes, how to cope with my (unrelated) PTSD, how to properly care for my pet cattledog, how to navigate finding a new apartment, a new job, how to recover from something like being told your family doesn't want you anymore. How to shave my face. 

All of the LGBT "freaks" in our town flocked to him, they were all his regular customers. And he doted on them, too, from beneath that scornful little exterior. He had several trans regulars in particular who he always had me pay special attention to. One day he pulled me aside and told me to always treat our trans customers with respect and a little extra kindness, because they need it, and I dunno, I still think about that to this day, if it wasn't obvious. He was such a stubborn, mean little man, but the one time I ever cried at work, he found me, quietly walked up to me, and squeezed me to where my arms were trapped and I couldn't hug him back. And he kissed the top of my head (I was sitting) and told me "I hate you less than everybody else", which I know is some cheesy Facebook boomer bullshit, but every time I think about it I get kinda teary-eyed. I could talk about this guy all day but I'll end this chunk of text here because this shit has gotten way, waaay too long, but TL;DR maybe this is a crazy opinion but I believe every younger gay/trans/etc person deserves an older LGBT mentor in their lives, to better learn about the foundation of our community and that "family" element that the newer generation seems to kind of be missing out on. Shoutout to Brent, too. <3 Our senses of humor were pretty different in the grand scheme of things, but one of the few jokes to ever get a laugh out of him was a one-liner about how he was like the Miss Hannigan to my little orphan Annie. Ironically, by the end of our time together, he was more like my Warbucks than anything, lol. Maybe that's too cheesy, idk:)

been a bisexual bigender icon since the day i was born wassup babes

I am very much in the community. I've always struggled with my gender (currently I am comfortable with he/him xe/xir pronouns but I don't have a name for my gender it's just sort of unlabled) I am omnisexual demiromantic and demisexual. I am unapologetic about it. Since I was a young kid I always had an attraction to female characters (I'm afab) My first crushes in elementary being ruby gloom, Ramona Flowers, Kim Pine, and Sally (from nightmare before christmas). I never knew they were crushes until I grew up and realized that it was more then just wanting to be "best best best friends".

RainbowDoggieUnicorn wrote:

I'm part of the LGBTQ community. As a Kid I was against them because I was worried about being judged a lot but I started to have feelings towards certain Genders. I founded out I'm a Bisexual when I was 12 or 13 or maybe 14. And I stayed that way until I came out a Demiwoman(Demigirl) in 2019 or 2020 because I somewhat didn't feel like a girl somewhat. But I thought have feelings if I was Demiwoman or Genderfluid. Because I thinking I am a Real Demiwoman or Transman or Nonbinary or Bigender. I came out as Genderfluid in 2021. Because I feel like I somedays I'm a Boy, Somedays I'm a girl, someday both somedays not at all. But I came out as Transmasculine this year because I do like a little be Masculine at time but I'm still Genderfluid but also Transmasculine. My family supported me for who I am. I feel like people at time can try to find out who they are as a person. If you changed that that's fine. If your questioning that's fine as well. I won't judge.

Ohh it happened to me something similar before finally realizing I was a boy, I thought for a long time that maybe I could be genderfluid or non binary but that still didn't rlly made me feel like I was really being myself, until I realized I was a guy (thanks to a friend of mine and a dumb ass comment he made) and it was like everything was finally clear to me 

Hello everyone !! ⋆ ˚｡⋆ ఌ
This is my first post ever and I'm wearing long ass acrylics for the first time as well so excuse all of my typos. I've known I'm not straight since I was a little kid. For most of my life I've identified as bisexual and felt fairly accepted by my surroundings. This past year things have been kind of shitty for me though. I'm strugling a lot with my identity, specially with my gender.
For context so that you don't get confused I'm afab and this year I realised that I probably didn't like men. I felt really uncomfortable around them and the thought of dating a man never even crossed my mind. I've never even liked an actual existing man in a romantic nor sexual manner so I started to identify as a lesbian and that felt ok for a while but then the gender identity crisis started. I'm actually extremly sure that I'm not a girl, that I know for sure, but I've been struggling a lot with labeling whatever the hell I'm feeling. Every pronoun is fine with me cause I don't really associate sex with pronouns but that only makes me more confused towards my gender. I've been identifying as non binary for a while but there's a feeling in the pit of my stomach that tells me that I'm most probably transmasc. I can't brush it off but I'm scared to death for some reason. Don't get my wrong, my family is accepting of the community and have supported me ever since I came out as gay but there's something about telling them that I'm probably trans that scares me for no reason. I think that its cause unconsciously I assume that they'll invalidate my identity cause I've always presented myself in a more femenine way cause it makes me more comfortable (and cause I feel disgusting if I'm not wearing a full face of makeup but that's a topic for another day).

Realising that I'm most probably transmasc also made me realise that I may actually be attracted to men. Not as much as I am to women but still. Being with a man  made me deeply uncomfortable but thinking about it in this new light doesn't, probably cause what made me uncomfortable was the thought of them seeing and treating me as female. You may wonder why I didn't get this same feeling with women, probably cause I've felt really safe and understood around all the women that surround me and past girlfriends have also been really accepting of my gender identity and have correctly used my pronouns and I've never felt they viewed me as a cis woman. I'm still kind of sceptical about dating men cause I'm not on hormones or anything and still present myself in very much a femenine way out of fear of judgement and convenience so I feel as they wouldn't see me as anything other than a woman (I do understand, I literally look like one).

I guess we can say I'm part of the LGBTQ+ community but still confused about which label fits me. Maybe non of them fits me and that's ok, everyone has a different journey to figure themselves out and that's alright.

That's everything, thanks for reading my queer struggle.  ♡ ྀ

strwbryjelly i share a lot of those same feelings! I thought i was bi for years, then realized i dont actually like men around the same time that i realized im not really a woman. I dont have a specific term for my gender so i just say ‘nonbinary lesbian’. But leaning transmasc i guess since im planning top surgery & debated taking T.

Being with a man made me deeply uncomfortable but thinking about it in this new light doesn't, probably cause what made me uncomfortable was the thought of them seeing and treating me as female.

Literally this sooo much. If i was a dude i feel like id probably like men! Like if men saw me as a man & liked me in a gay way, then i could be into that. But men only see me as a woman & like me in a straight way, which makes me feel super uncomfortable. Big no thank you & im happy with women anyway

i was really suprised that my parents didnt know that i was gay when i was younger, because when somebody asked me what my favorite color is i would just say rainbow i- but its pretty nice sooo