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♡ kindness is easy! ♡
Excellent topic Muffy! Have how you been? Haven't heard from you in a while, hope you're doing fine <3
It's scary how much bigotry and attempts of censorship there have been in the forum disguised as progressiveness. People who are not gay men reclaiming the word "queer" would be an equivalent of white people "reclaiming" the n-word and calling it "empowering". Saying womanhood is a "state of mind" is extremely misogynistic. Maybe women all over the word getting raped, suffering through domestic abuse, being treated as sex objects, forced to be nothing but mothers and hosewives, being treated like expired goods after the age of 30, not getting equal education and job opportunities as men and getting lower saleries for doing the same jobs can take comfort in knowing that womanhood is a state of mind and that you can randomly turn it off or on and just decide when you are or aren't a woman. Putting trans people into same category as men who like stuff like makeup and fashion or women who like stuff like sports and cars is extremely transphobic and it's belittling the experiences of trans people who have gender dysphoria and put their lives in danger by transitioning. Calling people insecure, transphobic and TERFs over not dating or having sex with trans people and saying that people's genitals are their private business when it's about having sex with that individual is rapey. Only about 13% of trans people have undergone sex reassigment surgery so it is extremely problematic to tell people what genitals they should be attracted to, especially considering women have been fighting for centuries for their body autonomy and gay people spend their lives hearing how wrong they are for liking the genitals of the same sex. Telling racial and ethnic minorities what they should find offensive and teaching them about their own cultures is racist and patronizing and it's giving a modern version of the white saviour trope. Shaming people and trying to cancel them for not eating enough is incredibly insensitive and not something you would expect from people who allegedly believe in body positivity.
It is sad to see how this behaviour has chased so many players (including minorities they allegedly support) off the forum. There are people who agree with this mentality who don't post on the forum either, but that's a completely different issue since those players don't do it cause they have been banned and don't want to expose their alts, not because other members have gone around canceling them and mass reporting them for sharing their opinions. All that being said, I think we don't need to call out those players or judge them, there is always room to improve, learn and grow. As you like to say Muffy, kidness is easy and I do firmly believe it will always prevail!
“Then two years ago, I became a public figure representing domestic
abuse, and I felt the full force of our culture’s wrath for women who
speak out.” -Amber Heard
Congratulations Muffy for your trip to rehab, as Cannabis said, you are so inspiring for living your truth and getting the help you need! I would like to preface this by saying that this is not directed at anyone specifically and is intended to mimic the style of an open letter. Identification of the individuals in question would only serve to create discord, and there has been enough of that due to reasons I endeavour to clarify.
I definitely agree with you that kindness is easy! However, it would seem that others here do not adhere to the same philosophy as us. It is with moderate sadness and regret, perhaps mild, that I announce today that I have been the victim of pro-suicide rhetoric on Bimboland by people I would have assumed would know better. Unfortunately, there are over 800,000 suicides a year globally and that figure has been augmented within the last two years due to the pandemic; it thus follows that suicide is not a joke, and preventing suicide should be at the forefront of all of our actions given that it is, by all intents and purposes, a pandemic in its own right. Even more alarmingly, 42% of LGB+ individuals have contemplated suicide which is a much higher rate than non-LGB+ individuals. As such, I cannot condone some of the actions I have seen here over the past few days which seem to be condoned by people who evidently assume accidental misgendering is more violent than suicide. Very, very disappointing, but ultimately systematic bullying will never prevail as long as I have a voice to speak against it and a mind to formulate my own opinions with, as opposed to following the collective—a problem that runs through the very veins of Bimboland. As a person of colour and a member of the LGB+ community, I refuse to be steamrolled into accepting inherently flawed, damaging ideologies in the same fashion that my ancestors have been for centuries. Similarly, I have also noticed that people promote binge-eating disorder on this site yet ridicule those with anorexia. As previously mentioned, bullying does not solve the issue and making jokes at the expense of those with perceived anorexia does nothing but dig them further into their metaphorical graves. We do, however, know that some people that you align with also support suicide, thus I cannot say that I am surprised. Please remember that anorexics, although you may not agree, are humans too and deserve to be treated with the same respect and love that you promote in discussions of obesity, especially from marginalised individuals such as the LGB+ community. Telling an anorexic to "get help" but, in the very same breath, telling an obese person that their body is beautiful, inspiring, and allowed to exist only serves to accentuate some of the bigotry here—and I cannot and will not stand for bigotry. Inclusivity above all, right?
As AuntieLice has too mentioned, there has been a concerning number of people pushed away from the Forum due to some of the gang-handed behaviour which goes on not-so-covertly here. Since Bimboland is supposed to be a safe haven for us, the LGB+, it is heartbreaking to say the least, and repugnant to say the most. We have already dispatched one group of people who would see the game be thrown into tumult using tactics not so dissimilar to those observable today, so please take that into consideration when ridiculing those with eating disorders, bullying other players with different opinions, promoting disordered eating, endorsing suicide, and being all-round hostile to normal people. In the end, I'd like to quote Muffy directly and say that "it is okay to be corrected", and that kindness really "is that easy".
I am pro-Israel, DNI if pro-Palestine, thank you!
i agree some ppl need to be more sensitive about some of the stuff you guys are talking about but a few helpful notes:
1. queer is not and was never used exclusively in reference to gay men and even if youre uncomfortable with the word (im not a big fan of it in reference to myself) it has been a community term for a long time. queer nation is an activist group founded in 1990, the term genderqueer was coined in the 80s, etc. comparing lgbt people using a community word to white people saying the n word is kind of a stretch.
2. trans people arent the same as gender-nonconforming cis people but im curious when anyone made that connection?
3. the "calling people insecure" was in the context of a trans woman venting about how men seem to be attracted to her up until they find out she's trans. notice how she literally says she would never force or guilt trip someone into liking her:
4. don't try and act like people are shaming you for your eating habits when you're the ones who give constant unsolicited comments about eating and talk constantly about how great being skinny is, including when i posted that i was trying to eat more because i hadn't been eating enough and needed to gain some weight and you responded with "that sounds awful", or when you said "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels", or responded with "pretty hurts" to someone who said they were really hungry, or that you try to avoid eating food period, or that you havent eaten for two days. no one has ever shamed you for being skinny or anorexic or perceived as anorexic, in fact the majority of people who have had problems with the things you say are people who have recovered or are recovering from eating disorders and the things you say are upsetting, so framing this as people treating anorexics as non-human is just incredibly misleading.
5. when has anyone ever said "you as such and such minority should find this offensive"
6. why are you saying lgb+?
1. queer is not and was never used exclusively in reference to gay men and even if youre uncomfortable with the word (im not a big fan of it in reference to myself) it has been a community term for a long time. queer nation is an activist group founded in 1990, the term genderqueer was coined in the 80s, etc. comparing lgbt people using a community word to white people saying the n word is kind of a stretch.
2. trans people arent the same as gender-nonconforming cis people but im curious when anyone made that connection?
3. the "calling people insecure" was in the context of a trans woman venting about how men seem to be attracted to her up until they find out she's trans. notice how she literally says she would never force or guilt trip someone into liking her:
4. don't try and act like people are shaming you for your eating habits when you're the ones who give constant unsolicited comments about eating and talk constantly about how great being skinny is, including when i posted that i was trying to eat more because i hadn't been eating enough and needed to gain some weight and you responded with "that sounds awful", or when you said "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels", or responded with "pretty hurts" to someone who said they were really hungry, or that you try to avoid eating food period, or that you havent eaten for two days. no one has ever shamed you for being skinny or anorexic or perceived as anorexic, in fact the majority of people who have had problems with the things you say are people who have recovered or are recovering from eating disorders and the things you say are upsetting, so framing this as people treating anorexics as non-human is just incredibly misleading.
5. when has anyone ever said "you as such and such minority should find this offensive"
6. why are you saying lgb+?
here we go again with promoting eating disorders and stuff
closing this for a while
closing this for a while
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