I have never ever met a "normal" person in my entire life and I am very sure that not one human on this planet fits the definition of normal. Just be you, don't harm yourself or others and be happy. To me that is sane however you fill that in
Let's get real. . . mental health
Happiness is inside yourself
i have social phobia since my 12 yo and its really hurt
I like rawness of this thread we all to often try to hide our problems and our issues. I don't know what normal is people are not normal they do things make no sense families are not normal. You often see families defined as a mother and child(ren), a father and children, two moms, two dads, or grandma and that is all normal to the person living it. Normal is such a dirty word.
TW: Rape
I 19 I was dating a guy who was years older than me, we started dating when I was 16 I met him through my oldest sister Burgundy. My father did not approve but I liked him. My father eventually caved in when I gave him the goals I had for my life one of which was to not have sex until marriage. We broke up three years after he asked me to move in with him again I had to turn him down because that was not in line with goals. Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free. I let myself into his apartment one Friday night and caught him in the living room deep in someone else while a friend of his and another girl sat and watched while getting high. I left his keys on the table and left without closing the door. It hurt me but I pushed the pain aside and moved on. After a few weeks really good friend asked me out declined because if we started dating and it didn't go well would have lost a friend and I was not he said he understood but continued to try and I continued to say no. He my best friend I can't remember if we met in kindergarten or preschool but it was my cousin, him and me together I was a complete tomboy. One night he was at my apartment I was leaving the next day to have a girls weekend in vegas.I said goodnight please lock up when you leave I went to give him a hug and he kissed me o the lips as I was pulling away he was trying to pull me back in I said no we need clear boundaries if we start kissing that to other things that I don't want as I was walking away down the hallway he grabbed me by my hair and slammed me against the wall. I didn't know what was happening he was saying that he done with me acting like a stuck up bitch and he was going to show me how good we could be together. He tried to kiss me again and I pushed him off of me I told him to stop and even asked what's wrong he lunged at me again and picked me up this time I was kicking and punching and he dropped me I rolled away when I got to my feet he back handed me so hard my right ear started ringing. He got on top if me and I remember hearing the sound of his belt and realize what he was about to do as I tried to get him off me he undressed then he ripped my clothes he scratched me ripping my shorts and underwear I remember him whispering in my ear this is what you deserve and he tried to enter me and he couldn't after a little trying forced his way in and I screamed and that made him put his hand over my mouth and nose I couldn't breathe and I passed out. When I woke up I was face down in the hallway he was still inside causing me great pain I stopped fighting and let him do whatever he wanted eventually he fell asleep on top of me and I couldn't get him off. This went on for at least 24 hours I had missed my plane to Vegas and my sister Cinn came looking for me. I don't know what would have happened if she had gotten in the plane without talking to me. She came to my apartment and opened the door but there was a metal bar across The door from the inside she knew I was there and when I didn't answer she called the police they kicked the door in and got this guy off of me. He was arrested but let go because it was considered date rape which was hard to prove he said it was consentual and I begged him to do tthis things to me.
I would like to talk about a lot, but it's not the best thing to do sometimes (for me, in some cases).
I am happy that this exists. Mental health needs to be talked about in an open and compassionate way.
So yeah, mental health rant incoming. I'll try to keep it down to dry details as to avoid triggering.
I had a seemingly normal childhood (I'll expand on the SEEMINGLY in a further post), born in Argentina and moved to Israel when I was 4 years old. Nothing too special about this, I was kind of a strange kid but nobody could really figure out why (including my parents, oddly enough). Around age 8 I started developing odd behaviors, like openly wishing I was adopted, becoming overly jealous of anyone that could "threaten" my position - like my new siblings, the new girl in school, etc. I started rebelling and purposely doing things I knew I was not supposed to do in order to call attention to myself and maybe re-gain my status.
When I was 10 my parents decided to move across the world because of business and that's when shit really hit the mental fan. My dad moved from being verbally aggressive to being physically aggressive, I was rejected by most people in the new school for the sole purpose of being a Jew among Catholics, I was an ugly duckling, and more. I began spiraling even more out of control, and by the time I was 12 I began developing a severe depression, and I gained weight - to which my mother responded by mocking me and calling me names. The girls at school also made even more fun of me after this, and things were basically at an all time low. At age 13 I decided to take matters into my own hands - I started fixing my appearance (contact lens, hair straightener, eyebrows, shaving, makeup, braces)... and I signed up for basketball lessons to get in shape. It wasn't cutting it fast enough, so I also became anorexic. I was living off one meal a day - dinner, the one meal my parents sat with me and I could not skip. Took me 3 months to go from about 200lbs to 100lbs. After all this, the girls in school just looked me up and down, laughing, "no matter what you do - you'll always be a filthy Jew." This is where things got even worse - I started being physically aggressive. Some more crap happened, and at age 15 I decided this is it... like Cartman loves to say: "that does it - screw you guys, I'm going home."
I moved to a boarding school in Israel (my family stayed in Cental America) and this is where I really got off the hook - started drinking, smoking, whatnot. I got raped when I was 15 and lost my virginity this way, when I tried to tell the boarding school principal the guy threatened to kill me. Anyways, it was full of good times, and at 17 and a half I graduated and happily got the fuck out of there.
I got an apartment, worked for a year, drinking lots of beer and playing XBOX in my free time... and then 18 came and I was forcibly enrolled into the army, because that's how we roll in Israel. Big no-no for an already PTSD case to be enrolled into a place which causes you even more trauma - didn't take long before I snapped completely, 8 months to be exact. Somewhere mid-service my parents and siblings came back to Israel. I ended up contemplating murder and/or suicide and eventually someone believed me and released me, thank God.
After that it was not really a patch of roses... my PTSD was full blown by now, the army triggered the living hell out of me and I was a whole new level of violent... eventually I discovered the magic of weed, and started smoking around the clock because it pacified me. It helped me sleep, it restored my appetite, and it kept me from bashing people's faces into walls. A good start, until I ran out of weed. I was sure I'd be smoking it every day all day for the rest of my life, if I didn't want to live in prison.
This is the basic gist of the last ~14 years of my life. I put most of the big things into it, left some out because this is already long enough :D
Here is where it gets interesting. 4 years ago I was in a very chaotic time in my life once again. I was engaged to be married and my fiancee got anxiety attacks after smoking a blunt and getting a tad too high. He was in the hospital for a week, and then his mom took him home because he couldn't be alone and couldn't work. I was left alone in our apartment, with all the bills, all the responsibility... and I had lost my job because I was babysitting him for 2 weeks until his mom took him home. Couldn't manage to find a new job, had a nervous breakdown, and the bank foreclosed my account due to bouncing checks. So I went back home to my oh-so-loving parents. Everything was burning around me and I just needed some peace and quiet, and weed wasn't cutting it. I searched youtube for a solution, and came across a sweet Hindu guy in orange monk robes, explaining a technique for silencing thoughts in about 5 minutes. It worked, and for someone like me that was serious sorcery. I didn't think much of it and carried on with my life, until one day my then-fiancee caught me watching this again and said it's idolatry and I should turn it off (Judaism has very strong aversion to foreign worship, especially polytheism). I listened.
A few months later we broke up, and I was shattered - but I remembered the sweet monk and immediately started watching and listening RELIGIOUSLY.
What can I tell you... He saved my life, no jokes. He helped me complete my being, and get rid of so many fears, traumas, limiting thought and behavior patterns... all the guilt, pain, shame, anger, greed, lust that I had developed - everything withered down by just watching videos and applying the techniques suggested in them. It was a miracle to me, I was sure I would never snap out of it - and even if somehow I'd manage, happiness? Bliss? That was a fairy tale to me. Not anymore - I got to experience it, all THANKS TO HIM. This strange youtube person. I was like ok, wait a minute, this is too much - I need to go to India and see for myself, and I did. That was when the real transformation happened... I spent a month in that monastery, and came back a whole new person. I seriously don't even feel like all the first part of this post even HAPPENED to me. It's insane, but so wonderful. I am eternally grateful, and this sweet monk is now my Guru, all I want to do is share with others and help them receive the huge gift I received - MY LIFE, blissful and fulfilled.
Let me tell you all, my dear Bimbo's and Himbo's - there is hope. There is a light at the end of the tunnel - and it's not the end. It's the beginning of a fabulous, amazing new life that is just waiting for you to come towards it. I can expand more about the change itself but I'll save that for another day because this has gotten so long by now :D hehe. Sending you all loving hugs, you're not alone.
I had a seemingly normal childhood (I'll expand on the SEEMINGLY in a further post), born in Argentina and moved to Israel when I was 4 years old. Nothing too special about this, I was kind of a strange kid but nobody could really figure out why (including my parents, oddly enough). Around age 8 I started developing odd behaviors, like openly wishing I was adopted, becoming overly jealous of anyone that could "threaten" my position - like my new siblings, the new girl in school, etc. I started rebelling and purposely doing things I knew I was not supposed to do in order to call attention to myself and maybe re-gain my status.
When I was 10 my parents decided to move across the world because of business and that's when shit really hit the mental fan. My dad moved from being verbally aggressive to being physically aggressive, I was rejected by most people in the new school for the sole purpose of being a Jew among Catholics, I was an ugly duckling, and more. I began spiraling even more out of control, and by the time I was 12 I began developing a severe depression, and I gained weight - to which my mother responded by mocking me and calling me names. The girls at school also made even more fun of me after this, and things were basically at an all time low. At age 13 I decided to take matters into my own hands - I started fixing my appearance (contact lens, hair straightener, eyebrows, shaving, makeup, braces)... and I signed up for basketball lessons to get in shape. It wasn't cutting it fast enough, so I also became anorexic. I was living off one meal a day - dinner, the one meal my parents sat with me and I could not skip. Took me 3 months to go from about 200lbs to 100lbs. After all this, the girls in school just looked me up and down, laughing, "no matter what you do - you'll always be a filthy Jew." This is where things got even worse - I started being physically aggressive. Some more crap happened, and at age 15 I decided this is it... like Cartman loves to say: "that does it - screw you guys, I'm going home."
I moved to a boarding school in Israel (my family stayed in Cental America) and this is where I really got off the hook - started drinking, smoking, whatnot. I got raped when I was 15 and lost my virginity this way, when I tried to tell the boarding school principal the guy threatened to kill me. Anyways, it was full of good times, and at 17 and a half I graduated and happily got the fuck out of there.
I got an apartment, worked for a year, drinking lots of beer and playing XBOX in my free time... and then 18 came and I was forcibly enrolled into the army, because that's how we roll in Israel. Big no-no for an already PTSD case to be enrolled into a place which causes you even more trauma - didn't take long before I snapped completely, 8 months to be exact. Somewhere mid-service my parents and siblings came back to Israel. I ended up contemplating murder and/or suicide and eventually someone believed me and released me, thank God.
After that it was not really a patch of roses... my PTSD was full blown by now, the army triggered the living hell out of me and I was a whole new level of violent... eventually I discovered the magic of weed, and started smoking around the clock because it pacified me. It helped me sleep, it restored my appetite, and it kept me from bashing people's faces into walls. A good start, until I ran out of weed. I was sure I'd be smoking it every day all day for the rest of my life, if I didn't want to live in prison.
This is the basic gist of the last ~14 years of my life. I put most of the big things into it, left some out because this is already long enough :D
Here is where it gets interesting. 4 years ago I was in a very chaotic time in my life once again. I was engaged to be married and my fiancee got anxiety attacks after smoking a blunt and getting a tad too high. He was in the hospital for a week, and then his mom took him home because he couldn't be alone and couldn't work. I was left alone in our apartment, with all the bills, all the responsibility... and I had lost my job because I was babysitting him for 2 weeks until his mom took him home. Couldn't manage to find a new job, had a nervous breakdown, and the bank foreclosed my account due to bouncing checks. So I went back home to my oh-so-loving parents. Everything was burning around me and I just needed some peace and quiet, and weed wasn't cutting it. I searched youtube for a solution, and came across a sweet Hindu guy in orange monk robes, explaining a technique for silencing thoughts in about 5 minutes. It worked, and for someone like me that was serious sorcery. I didn't think much of it and carried on with my life, until one day my then-fiancee caught me watching this again and said it's idolatry and I should turn it off (Judaism has very strong aversion to foreign worship, especially polytheism). I listened.
A few months later we broke up, and I was shattered - but I remembered the sweet monk and immediately started watching and listening RELIGIOUSLY.
What can I tell you... He saved my life, no jokes. He helped me complete my being, and get rid of so many fears, traumas, limiting thought and behavior patterns... all the guilt, pain, shame, anger, greed, lust that I had developed - everything withered down by just watching videos and applying the techniques suggested in them. It was a miracle to me, I was sure I would never snap out of it - and even if somehow I'd manage, happiness? Bliss? That was a fairy tale to me. Not anymore - I got to experience it, all THANKS TO HIM. This strange youtube person. I was like ok, wait a minute, this is too much - I need to go to India and see for myself, and I did. That was when the real transformation happened... I spent a month in that monastery, and came back a whole new person. I seriously don't even feel like all the first part of this post even HAPPENED to me. It's insane, but so wonderful. I am eternally grateful, and this sweet monk is now my Guru, all I want to do is share with others and help them receive the huge gift I received - MY LIFE, blissful and fulfilled.
Let me tell you all, my dear Bimbo's and Himbo's - there is hope. There is a light at the end of the tunnel - and it's not the end. It's the beginning of a fabulous, amazing new life that is just waiting for you to come towards it. I can expand more about the change itself but I'll save that for another day because this has gotten so long by now :D hehe. Sending you all loving hugs, you're not alone.
Integrity. Authenticity. Responsibility. Enriching.
Eternal Bliss! <3
Eternal Bliss! <3
i've struggled with my mental health for the past few years but it is so hard to talk about. I'm not ashamed of it but asking for help is something that i can't bring myself to do.
I also had a hard time asking for help, and the thing that actually did the trick was helping myself - reading self help books, watching self development videos on youtube... that's what saved me from myself - ME, deciding to own up to everything and not let it kill me.
Integrity. Authenticity. Responsibility. Enriching.
Eternal Bliss! <3
Eternal Bliss! <3
I am also one of those who has struggled to reach out despite having a loving home life and wonderful friends. I blame the stigma and I hope to one day see it did become an easy thing to talk about.
My husband's uncle passed away and the funeral is in Springfield on Friday morning. Its extremely hard because for the past year the uncle he is closest to has been sick in and out of hospital's after a stroke. While he was caring for one, another suddenly died. Now he has to go out of town and I don't think I have ever been alone in this house overnight. He suggested babies who just came home days 3 ago and I come. I think it will be too much on him and people breathing on the babies and wanting to hold them. Then I think about the empty house next door my husband told me he saw a light on upstairs in the house on Saturday. I thought that was creepy and quickly forgot about it until this morning. I usually get up about 3:15am just to get some alone time before my husband gets up I wash my face brush my tea, make a big mug of tea and I go out on the front porch and sit. Some mornings I pray sometimes I read on my tablet, other times I just sit there and enjoy the silence alone. This morning I was reading and sipping my tea wondering which baby would wake up first and from the corner of my eye I notice something. When I turn my head to look someone is standing in the living room window looking at me I couldn't make out anything except they had on a hood. I couldn't make out if it was a person or a non person and it seemed as if they were just staring. I got up and finished my tea in the kitchen..Now the babies are home and my husband is leaving Thursday and the house next door at the very least has a squatter in it. I should have called the police but if they some and don't find anyone that would scare me too. I know I will be ok but the situation is a little overwhelming.
Ximboland stats
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Next Prime Ximbo election: 01.01.1970
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Best State Warriors this month:
nullplayer
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Legal Alien - lvl 44
mbbybbby
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State Minister - lvl 270
CarCrashBimbo
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Senator - lvl 57
Susan Slutzky
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Senator - lvl 260
Eunyce
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Fashion Manager - lvl 260
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Sexiest this week:
AikiraSora
- 25758 points
Senator - lvl 77
SinksTears
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Citizen - lvl 163
Sandi Lut
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State Minister - lvl 289
Mollie Mollie
- 7316 points
Citizen - lvl 139
lillyfee
- 7057 points
Citizen - lvl 182
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Most reputable this week:
Yariman
- 1161 points
Senator - lvl 19
liza 5
- 884 points
Citizen - lvl 108
Mollie Mollie
- 791 points
Citizen - lvl 139
gum
- 790 points
Senator - lvl 23
Slick_D
- 776 points
Citizen - lvl 114
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Best fighters this week:
AikiraSora
- 104 points
Senator - lvl 77
Slick_D
- 95 points
Citizen - lvl 114
SilentlyScreaming
- 89 points
Citizen - lvl 59
Spiffyfunpants
- 88 points
Senator - lvl 301
Sophia_Aliza_01
- 77 points
Citizen - lvl 64
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Best debaters this week:
Kyele
- 33 points
Citizen - lvl 196
califlower
- 24 points
Fashion Designer - lvl 75
Sophia_Aliza_01
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Citizen - lvl 64
AltAcc
- 23 points
Legal Alien - lvl 30
liza 5
- 21 points
Citizen - lvl 108
