Let's get real. . . mental health

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Haute Coffee Shop

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73

Created
19.02.2016

Author
Lyriiia

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Lyriiia

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19.02.2016 01:08:07
Lyriiia

Lately my anxiety has been really bad and like randomly talking about it can help sometimes but it's not always easy to find a place so I figured I'd start something here.
Depression, anxiety, panic, eating disorders, they are all very real issues I bet a lot of deal with and if we are gonna be a community we should be able to talk about them.

SUGGESTED RULES FOR THIS THREAD:
You kind of have to realize there are tough topics out there and some you might not be ready to talk or read about. You accept that you might come across something that is hard and triggering for you,
HOWEVER,
We can look out for and protect each other by giving as informative of a trigger warning as possible. Just blasting "TRIGGER WARNING" at the begining of your post gives almost no information for the reader to decide if it is or isn't safe for them - after all there are countless possibilities for what each person who comes here could be dealing with. So instead we want to keep it specific. Examples:
*TW - Suicidal thoughts*
*TW - eating disorders(anorexia/bulemia/ednos)*
*TW - rehab*
*TW - child abuse*
*TW - Child loss*
The labels are meant to be a clear indicator to the reader of what the post contains that the writer feels could be triggering for some people. Then everyone can carefully consider for themselves what they are and are not ready to read and be prepared for what's coming.

19.02.2016 01:08:07

Love and light, sweet dreams and safe adventures.

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xXxBottleCapsxXx

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19.02.2016 01:33:55
xXxBottleCapsxXx

Lyriiia :big hug: I know how you feel and am really happy that someone took the first step and got the ball rolling. Those are all tough topics to talk about but for those of us who suffer from them its hard and even dangerous if we never get the chance to talk to someone. Creating a safe space like like a forum with your set easy rules to follow could really give a lot of people help from people just like them.

19.02.2016 01:33:55

-with these hands shall paradise be built, for only a dreamer can create something from nothing

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Lyriiia

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19.02.2016 02:11:46
Lyriiia

Thank you!
I'm glad my intent came across clearly!! Your understanding of what I'm trying to do really makes me feel better about going for it. There is always that fear of being received in the wrong way.

19.02.2016 02:11:46

Love and light, sweet dreams and safe adventures.

Citizen

xXxBottleCapsxXx

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19.02.2016 02:22:27
xXxBottleCapsxXx

I have sever anxiety and know that once you lock yourself up it only gets worse and can even lead to worse things. Here people can have a chance to speak or at the very least read and see there not alone. I'm 26 and if I had know in my youth that this awful undying fear that crippled me at times was anxiety, i could have had an easier time understand myself.

19.02.2016 02:22:27

-with these hands shall paradise be built, for only a dreamer can create something from nothing

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Lyriiia

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Posts 123

19.02.2016 18:37:11
Lyriiia

19.02.2016 18:37:11

Love and light, sweet dreams and safe adventures.

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CaliforniaDoll

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20.02.2016 00:10:59
CaliforniaDoll

So this is oddly on topic:
I'm dislike trigger warnings because life doesn't warn you before something happens. I'm avidly against them because of that, and avidly against them because most of my psychology classes deep coddling to be more hurtful to someone then 'triggering' them. The Atlantic has a really good article on it over here. I mean, there are a few situations that should be warned against because they're graphic or horrible, but it shouldn't be everything, you know? Basically, life sucks and you get sucky things out of it. If you constantly avoid any situation that makes you uncomfortable, you're disallowing your mind the ability to grow from that.

I was raped. I didn't get a trigger warning when the girl in the dorm across from me came in and took advantage of me. I also didn't get warning when one of my best friends growing up didn't take no for an answer. The best thing that could have happened to me was meeting another rape survivor who didn't tiptoe around the topic or coddle me. He told me to snap out of it and realize that I'm alive, and what happened shouldn't consume me. Best advice I was ever given: Don't let the person who messed you up take your life from you.
I've also had an eating disorder most of my life. It's been a pain in the ass. I decided that I didn't want to be coddled on that topic either. I wanted to be strong. Fight it. I'm a survivor, dammit!
Of course depression has always been an issue because of those two instances, and losing most of my family members by the time I was 13. Embracing that sometimes life is out of your own control can help with this, or at least it did for me. Life is never going to be picturesque - it will always be about making the best of the crap you're given.

Basically what I'm trying to say is that mental wellness begins with just respecting each other as human beings, and refraining from coddling each other. Someone who is perpetually told they're a victim will stay a victim - someone who is perpetually told they're a survivor, will fight to defend being a survivor. You have to empower people or, psychologically speaking, you're going to enable the negative mindset that hinders them to begin with - making growth and moving on from the issues more complicated. I'm 200% on board with a space for people to talk about their issues, but not if it involves coddling one another. We need to be empowered, we need to raise our hands and feel like we're not alone - we don't need to feel like we're being tiptoed around and treated as fragile nesting dolls because something happened to us. No way, Jose.

20.02.2016 00:10:59

It is not that I'm so smart. But I stay with the questions much longer. - Albert Einstein

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HeavenLeighBimbo

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20.02.2016 02:03:47
HeavenLeighBimbo

*TW - eating disorders(anorexia/bulimia/ednos)*

This is an issue for me on so many levels. I am much better about eating now, than I was in my teens, to 30's. The age old story of vanity.
But it had an unfortunate side effect, that is an insanity to me. Bourn of politics and my body image of perfection issue, is a disgust with morbidly obese people. Really a pity for the person, because of learned habits and enabling.
When I see one at the grocery store, shopping with a government welfare card, buying nothing but vast quantities of junk food and soda, it makes me wonder why the issue of an American Epidemic of Obesity is not addressed at all at the government level. They give free healthy school lunches to the kids and then give the lazy and un-healthy parents money to buy pizza and pop for their dinner of choice. This sets my mind reeling around in circles with the insanity of it all.
If you could see the typical obese shopper here, you would want to wretch too at what is paid for at government expense to add to the rolls of fat on the poor and so unhealthy as to be classified as disabled, people. A very large percentage too. No education comes with the welfare food, so people just eat total junkfoods and make their health worse and quality of life totally miserable. Till they become a medical expense to insurance, and tax payers and suffer and eventually die of a complication of the eating disorder.
It drives me insane to watch this wholesale genocide, made to eliminate the weak and impoverished by governments and corporations, making huge profits from the poor while looking like the hero's during the slaughter.

Eating habits are taught in childhood. Poverty has become generational too. The children who grew up on meals like chips from a bag, and a bottle of soda in front of the TV, are now very overweight parents. They are raising and teaching the obese kids what is for dinner, and where it comes from.. Everyone screams about the bulling in schools these kids endure, but it is nothing compared to the life long consequences of becoming to heavy to be employable. One good meal at school that is thrown away in favor of the free chips from home provided by the government, is stupid at best. I really can't believe anyone else doesn't see that, in the world around them. It emotionally breaks my heart to go grocery shopping and witness pure gluttony as a means of ending poverty, because it does nothing without healthy minded parent's making balanced meals. When I see the teen-girls shopping with their mothers, I shiver when I see the same fat distribution on both despite 20 years difference in age. Mom, got heavy having children, what is the daughters excuse other than her mothers very rich meals at home and an activity level of a texter.

It makes me think I'm mad, and surrounded by drugged out zombies.
The Zombie Apocalypse is Now.
I hate going to town, I really do.
People have changed in the years since I moved to my 'Glass-House' on the hill. I didn't want to be in public anymore and rarely do venture out of the forest but to go to work. I just cannot personally take the overwhelming emotion of pity I feel when I look at the common American in a public place. Knowing to be politically correct I can say or do nothing to help them.
Now I'm boarder-line agoraphobic because I'm the rare woman with a shape that always gets lingering stares from everyone.
This is my mental side effect of anorexia as a youth I don't think really needs a cure. Age is doing it fast enough.

20.02.2016 02:03:47

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BeautyXRush

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20.02.2016 03:14:34
BeautyXRush

I had major anxiety when I was 19-21, little did I know it was all related to an undiagnosed medical condition that I was suffering with at the time. It was Graves' disease, once treated the anxiety slowly went away and I was able to get off the medication.

20.02.2016 03:14:34

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IslandDream

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20.02.2016 04:13:24
IslandDream

Believe it or not,my only one anxiety at 18,are amusement ride that are too fast..if I don't sit between my sisters,or friends,I pass out
if they're too fast :(

20.02.2016 04:13:24

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Lyriiia

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20.02.2016 07:49:00
Lyriiia

What an interesting perspective, CD! I think it is really interesting because to me creating this thread was a step away from coddling, when I first came up with this trigger warning system it was out of frustration that is similar to what you are experiencing now. I kept seeing the hard topics being banned entirely out of fear they'd upset someone and I thought that blacking out those topics entirely was counter-productive for sure. It might help to understand that I'm used to dealing with Dissociative Identity Disorder (previously known as Multiple-personality disorder), and with that condition in particular the trigger warnings were legitimately necessary for the safety of everyone involved. Each system needed to be able to know what they were about to come up against because a trigger for them could mean a personality coming forward that has no hesitation about killing the body in which they all reside, or a personality that would return them to their abusers as quickly as possible, or one that was otherwise unsafe in a very real way. I am making zero assumptions about where people here are in their journey or what they are dealing with.
Something else that I can add about my previous experiences with using this system that might ease your mind, CD: In the group I initially instituted this system in something interesting happened, we gradually used less and less trigger warnings until there were none at all. Once we knew each other better and got more comfortable with one another it became less and less needed. We'd reach the point that we weren't using them at all anymore and I never enforced the rule until we had new people come in and I'd ask that for a while at least while they are adjusting to the new group that we use the labels for their safety, and then they would gradually stop being used again. This is part of why I made these *suggested* rules, and why the rule about accepting that you may come against triggering topics here came first. To me the more important one was that people accept responsibility for themselves when they choose to read and participate here. I personally am still not comfortable calling off the suggestion of trigger warning labels, but I think we will most likely get there. It's okay to take small steps towards the goal that you see. In part we will, with time, figure out what is most productive for the group we have here I think.
I feel like I haven't said what I'm really trying to say yet and I'm sorry if I'm not getting to the point. I'm gonna take a break and gather my thoughts and come back to this soon :)

CaliforniaDoll wrote:

Basically what I'm trying to say is that mental wellness begins with just respecting each other as human beings, and refraining from coddling each other. Someone who is perpetually told they're a victim will stay a victim - someone who is perpetually told they're a survivor, will fight to defend being a survivor. You have to empower people or, psychologically speaking, you're going to enable the negative mindset that hinders them to begin with - making growth and moving on from the issues more complicated. I'm 200% on board with a space for people to talk about their issues, but not if it involves coddling one another. We need to be empowered, we need to raise our hands and feel like we're not alone - we don't need to feel like we're being tiptoed around and treated as fragile nesting dolls because something happened to us. No way, Jose.

20.02.2016 07:49:00

Love and light, sweet dreams and safe adventures.

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