Thank you CinnamonSugar :) I really appreciate that. Sometimes it's easy to forget that venting is okay in the right spaces.
Mental Health check-in
Call me Ezra pls :)
school has been impossible for me to keep up with, and last month i had to scramble to get a poetry collection together to submit to the scholastic arts/writing awards.
TW: mentions of s3lf h4rm relapse
i busted my ass to make things work. i stayed up all night revising via zoom with my teacher. at one point i had to eake the whole house at 11:40 at night bc i dont have access to the printer. everyone was so mad at me and eventually, my submission went through... BUT IT WAS THE ROUGH DRAFT. so i had to bother all my teachers and some head of some department to get things fixed. after that, i relapsed after what had to be 2 1/2 of being self harm free. it felt so surreal i couldnt believe i had done it. later, my mom tells me that i got the highest award for my poetry collection, and i felt a bit better. like i was finally getting recognized for my efforts. turns out she read the email wrong and i got an honorable mention. im crushed. i fell down a spiral and had one of my worst meltdowns for a fucking honorable mention. i feel like im being ungrateful, but at the same time, i feel like im always third place. i try so hard for nothing.
TW: mentions of s3lf h4rm relapse
i busted my ass to make things work. i stayed up all night revising via zoom with my teacher. at one point i had to eake the whole house at 11:40 at night bc i dont have access to the printer. everyone was so mad at me and eventually, my submission went through... BUT IT WAS THE ROUGH DRAFT. so i had to bother all my teachers and some head of some department to get things fixed. after that, i relapsed after what had to be 2 1/2 of being self harm free. it felt so surreal i couldnt believe i had done it. later, my mom tells me that i got the highest award for my poetry collection, and i felt a bit better. like i was finally getting recognized for my efforts. turns out she read the email wrong and i got an honorable mention. im crushed. i fell down a spiral and had one of my worst meltdowns for a fucking honorable mention. i feel like im being ungrateful, but at the same time, i feel like im always third place. i try so hard for nothing.
- hugz <3
is everyone else's mental spiraling too?
THAT bitch wrote:
school has been impossible for me to keep up with, and last month i had to scramble to get a poetry collection together to submit to the scholastic arts/writing awards.I think you're too hard on yourself personally, you're kicking ass and taking names
TW: mentions of s3lf h4rm relapse
i busted my ass to make things work. i stayed up all night revising via zoom with my teacher. at one point i had to eake the whole house at 11:40 at night bc i dont have access to the printer. everyone was so mad at me and eventually, my submission went through... BUT IT WAS THE ROUGH DRAFT. so i had to bother all my teachers and some head of some department to get things fixed. after that, i relapsed after what had to be 2 1/2 of being self harm free. it felt so surreal i couldnt believe i had done it. later, my mom tells me that i got the highest award for my poetry collection, and i felt a bit better. like i was finally getting recognized for my efforts. turns out she read the email wrong and i got an honorable mention. im crushed. i fell down a spiral and had one of my worst meltdowns for a fucking honorable mention. i feel like im being ungrateful, but at the same time, i feel like im always third place. i try so hard for nothing.
badbbg wrote:
is everyone else's mental spiraling too?Somewhat, still hanging on tho
19, she/he pronouns ONLY. Barely on the site anymore so don’t bother. Please don’t interact with me if we aren’t friends, it makes me incredibly uncomfortable and anxious.
Well, I'm feeling really depressed this days, and I don't wanna do anything just want to sleep in my bed.
I just needed it to share how I feel. Hope everyone here is doing great.
I just needed it to share how I feel. Hope everyone here is doing great.
Joha <3
Johana567 wrote:
Well, I'm feeling really depressed this days, and I don't wanna do anything just want to sleep in my bed.Me too.
“If you know someone who’s depressed, please resolve never to ask them why. Depression isn’t a straightforward response to a bad situation; depression just is, like the weather.” ~Stephen Fry
Living with depression? Connect with others at the Mental Health Check-in.
Living with depression? Connect with others at the Mental Health Check-in.
Today has actually been pretty good mental health wise. I live with my mom because ~pandemic~ so I put together dinner in the crockpot and I feel really proud of myself for doing that. Gotta celebrate the little wins. I'm gonna shop around on etsy for some stickers for my best friend because we write snail mail and she just sent me a really sweet letter and presents, so I'm feeling really good about that. I also had some nice cuddle time with my cat so I think that's contributing to my good mood. I'm really glad today is a good day. I hope everyone else has good days or feels a little bit better than usual. Life can be really difficult and I know we can all get through it. Thank y'all for listening :)
Call me Ezra pls :)
Tbh I'm really anxious with all the work that I'm left behind with and I feel like just giving up because it takes so much energy to get myself to do anything and I'm really tired and stressed and have problems with concentrating and I would just like to have a break from everything but every time I try I can't relax because I'm thinking of everything I haven't done etc. But I'm doing a bit better now ^^
I feel like I am really struggling to function.
I am on BL less but it's not just about that.
Yesterday, I woke up, ate a small breakfast & went back to bed for another hour or so. I don't think I actually slept. I just had no energy to do anything. Today is going a bit better. I ate breakfast and realized I had unopened mail on my desk from who knows how long ago. It was junk. But at least now it's in the recycling bin.
I am at the highest dose of my antidepressant but I am definitely still depressed. This is not a new thing. I have been on something like 30 psych meds without symptom relief. But this is even worse than what I consider my depressed baseline. Pre-pandemic, I was able to function well enough to work.
In September, I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder which I think is contributing to some of this fatigue.
Appointment with psychiatrist next week & appointment with autoimmune doctor the following week, which is good but it can feel like relief is far away because having an appointment & actually having relief of symptoms are two totally different things.
Also, not currently in counseling because:
1) counselors near me usually only see people for 12 sessions at a time.
2) counselors near me usually have waiting lists.
3) counselors near me seem...$#!++y...*cough* I mean, poorly trained.
I am on BL less but it's not just about that.
Yesterday, I woke up, ate a small breakfast & went back to bed for another hour or so. I don't think I actually slept. I just had no energy to do anything. Today is going a bit better. I ate breakfast and realized I had unopened mail on my desk from who knows how long ago. It was junk. But at least now it's in the recycling bin.
I am at the highest dose of my antidepressant but I am definitely still depressed. This is not a new thing. I have been on something like 30 psych meds without symptom relief. But this is even worse than what I consider my depressed baseline. Pre-pandemic, I was able to function well enough to work.
In September, I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder which I think is contributing to some of this fatigue.
Appointment with psychiatrist next week & appointment with autoimmune doctor the following week, which is good but it can feel like relief is far away because having an appointment & actually having relief of symptoms are two totally different things.
Also, not currently in counseling because:
1) counselors near me usually only see people for 12 sessions at a time.
2) counselors near me usually have waiting lists.
3) counselors near me seem...$#!++y...*cough* I mean, poorly trained.
“If you know someone who’s depressed, please resolve never to ask them why. Depression isn’t a straightforward response to a bad situation; depression just is, like the weather.” ~Stephen Fry
Living with depression? Connect with others at the Mental Health Check-in.
Living with depression? Connect with others at the Mental Health Check-in.
Ximboland stats
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Population:
Prime Ximbo:
Treasury (USD): $0.00
Next Prime Ximbo election: 01.01.1970
Next State Minister elections: 01.01.1970
State in Charge:
Social media: | |
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Best State Warriors this month:
nullplayer
- 2592261 points
Legal Alien - lvl 44
mbbybbby
- 555319 points
State Minister - lvl 270
CarCrashBimbo
- 343302 points
Senator - lvl 57
Susan Slutzky
- 275409 points
Senator - lvl 260
Eunyce
- 272687 points
Fashion Manager - lvl 260
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Sexiest this week:
AikiraSora
- 24714 points
Senator - lvl 77
SinksTears
- 19709 points
Citizen - lvl 163
Sandi Lut
- 7584 points
State Minister - lvl 289
Mollie Mollie
- 5160 points
Citizen - lvl 139
lillyfee
- 4942 points
Citizen - lvl 182
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Most reputable this week:
liza 5
- 821 points
Citizen - lvl 108
gum
- 606 points
Senator - lvl 23
AikiraSora
- 593 points
Senator - lvl 77
Mollie Mollie
- 531 points
Citizen - lvl 139
Yariman
- 529 points
Senator - lvl 19
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Best fighters this week:
Spiffyfunpants
- 88 points
Senator - lvl 301
AikiraSora
- 77 points
Senator - lvl 77
SilentlyScreaming
- 69 points
Citizen - lvl 59
Slick_D
- 45 points
Citizen - lvl 114
Sophia_Aliza_01
- 37 points
Senator - lvl 64
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Best debaters this week:
Kyele
- 26 points
Citizen - lvl 196
califlower
- 24 points
Fashion Designer - lvl 75
AltAcc
- 18 points
Legal Alien - lvl 30
sachele
- 17 points
Legal Alien - lvl 19
Hick Punk
- 16 points
Citizen - lvl 36
