My ex contacted me to share something that I think they thought was helpful but was actually really triggering to me & so I've been crying for 2 hours despite attempts to self soothe (such as watching comedy, cuddling a stuffed animal, holding something hot, eating, & exercise). Sometimes it is extremely difficult to move on after being triggered.
Mental Health check-in
“If you know someone who’s depressed, please resolve never to ask them why. Depression isn’t a straightforward response to a bad situation; depression just is, like the weather.” ~Stephen Fry
Living with depression? Connect with others at the Mental Health Check-in.
Living with depression? Connect with others at the Mental Health Check-in.
I’m really sorry cinnamon. No one should have to deal with that... i totally understand how it feels though—sometimes even the most comforting thing to me makes me absolutely flip when i’m experiencing breakdowns. I hope youre feeling better by now..
19, she/he pronouns ONLY. Barely on the site anymore so don’t bother. Please don’t interact with me if we aren’t friends, it makes me incredibly uncomfortable and anxious.
my meds are almost over but i have no will & money to see a psychiatrist to get them prescribed
nice
i feel like i never really have one singular personality that is 100% me. i mean, i get that BPD literally causes this, but still. it's aggravating that even when i think i found an identity that suits me, i actually end up even more confused with myself. i mentioned here a while ago that i was cursed with the worst thing ever (a personality disorder, lol) and i really do mean it. i wish desperately that i can proudly claim i'm (x) or (y) without going "no that sounds fake" or "no that's not actually me" or "no that doesn't fit me at all." like wtf man. i think it's so bad for me personally that it even confuses people. i know damn well my own family is wondering why i change so often.. it's not like i mean to do it anyway, it's just that i can't seem to ever know what i'm really like. BPD sucks
19, she/he pronouns ONLY. Barely on the site anymore so don’t bother. Please don’t interact with me if we aren’t friends, it makes me incredibly uncomfortable and anxious.
Forest Witch wrote:
https://screening.mhanational.org/content/need-talk-someone-warmlines/
Also I dunno if you are trans but the trans lifeline doesn't call the cops on people.
I'm exhausted since I've been crying and having nightmares for the last week and a half since a young person I worked closely with for the past two years died, and I have been grieving a beloved community member for a couple of months, and it feels like it will never end. The sunlight's return means my SAD will get better in a month but ugh. That is how I ammm. Thanks for telling me about this, miesha.
I'm too scared to call the helpline though because I'm afraid they'd admit me involuntarily anyway, and I've got to be strong tomorrow since I'm holding a party for my bffHave you considered calling, not a hotline, but a warm line? Peer support from other people who know what it's like to struggle with mental health. They might refer you to a crisis line if you're past just ideation but they're for lower level peer support. There's a listing of numbers here with more info for the US but there are warm lines in a lot of places:
https://screening.mhanational.org/content/need-talk-someone-warmlines/
Also I dunno if you are trans but the trans lifeline doesn't call the cops on people.
I'm exhausted since I've been crying and having nightmares for the last week and a half since a young person I worked closely with for the past two years died, and I have been grieving a beloved community member for a couple of months, and it feels like it will never end. The sunlight's return means my SAD will get better in a month but ugh. That is how I ammm. Thanks for telling me about this, miesha.
***fat queer cripness intensifies***
Share the fat pride and liberation here: https://bimbo.land/forum/show-me-your-boombos/t4278
Disability/Mad/Deaf/Crip pride here: https://bimbo.land/forum/disabled-people-are-hot-show-me-your-disabled-bimbo-lewks/t5057
Share the fat pride and liberation here: https://bimbo.land/forum/show-me-your-boombos/t4278
Disability/Mad/Deaf/Crip pride here: https://bimbo.land/forum/disabled-people-are-hot-show-me-your-disabled-bimbo-lewks/t5057
Queerla wrote:
I'm exhausted since I've been crying and having nightmares for the last week and a half since a young person I worked closely with for the past two years died, and I have been grieving a beloved community member for a couple of months, and it feels like it will never end. The sunlight's return means my SAD will get better in a month but ugh. That is how I ammm. Thanks for telling me about this, miesha.i'm really sorry to hear that. grieving the loss of someone is hard, but i can't even imagine how much harder it is when it's more than one person at a time. i hope you know all of us are here for you and i'm sure some people may have tips for you in this thread to help you cope with that. all i can say is you're incredibly strong--i personally would not be able to handle something so intense. i hope you know that you can definitely get through this. and of course, you're always welcome to this thread. it's honestly the only thread i feel comfortable in.
19, she/he pronouns ONLY. Barely on the site anymore so don’t bother. Please don’t interact with me if we aren’t friends, it makes me incredibly uncomfortable and anxious.
I have a friend who is incredibly well off compared to me and she has been pressuring me to leave our small town and move with her to her college town when she tries to go back in fall. The more I think about it the more this sounds like a bad idea. Her parents are paying for her college and would be paying her half of the rent and literally all her other expenses and I would most likely be having to work two jobs to get by and be doing online school (my mom has said that she will pay for online school because I'd be a first generation college graduate and she doesn't want me to struggle as much). I've been thinking about my other options and to me, the best one sounds like continuing to live at home and attend online school while also getting my drivers license (I've never felt a huge drive to get it and I'm a little afraid but I need to grow up and get it) and once I have my license, get a job and just save almost my entire paycheck until I either graduate or I feel financially ready to move out. I have 0 savings at the moment and even though my mom will try to help me as much as she can I think it's going to be horrifically stressful if I move out without a license and without at least a little bit of financial stability. The only thing is I'm a people pleaser and I don't want to make my friend angry with me. She is easily middle middle class or even possibly upper middle class. We don't see money the same way and I am afraid she won't understand why I'm backing out. She's also really unempathetic and it's scary telling her stuff like this because she can be really rude about my financial situation because she 100% just does not understand. She has also sprung this on me and wants to move by August or even July which really isn't possible for me. I just feel like crying. I've barely gotten any sleep the past couple of nights because I've been stressing about this and how to tell her.
I'm sorry this is so long and is just a huge info dump but I needed to talk about it somewhere other than with my mom. I know that staying at home is my best option and that is what I want. If anyone has any advice on how to tell an unempathetic person who is in a completely different tax bracket than you and is also very pushy that you don't want to do what they want you to do, I'd gladly listen.
I'm sorry this is so long and is just a huge info dump but I needed to talk about it somewhere other than with my mom. I know that staying at home is my best option and that is what I want. If anyone has any advice on how to tell an unempathetic person who is in a completely different tax bracket than you and is also very pushy that you don't want to do what they want you to do, I'd gladly listen.
Call me Ezra pls :)
LizardKiwi wrote:
I have a friend... ... I've barely gotten any sleep the past couple of nights because I've been stressing about this and how to tell her.It’s great that you are aware what it is that you want and is best for you because it it clear to us in your writing. I say that because a lot of people like you (I was similar btw) and in your situation would ignore what your head, heart and gut is telling you, and would just do what your friend wants of you. Opposites attract. You are sensitive, empathic and unselfish while your friend is insensitive, unempathetic and selfish. You are a giver, they are a taker. Assume they have positive traits too and no doubt you get something from the relationship but beware because (from the admittedly small amount of information you have given) it looks like your friendship is one-sided and that you are at risk of being taken advantage of (if you are not already). I get a sense you know this. It’s nice to give and do things for others. For many it as an expression of ‘love’. For many though their want to please others can be an unhealthy expression linked to low self-esteem. They find that if they focus their time and energy on others then they don’t have to worry about themselves and their personal issues. And they feel good if they make other people happy but it’s only a temporary fix as far as their self esteem is concerned and so they need to do it often. Now i say this because the worst case users (e.g. narcissists) are really good at finding and befriending worst case givers (with low self esteem issues) and take great advantage of them. And i think it is worth asking yourself whether you might be in such a situation with your friend. Your question was how do you tell your friend, who lacks any empathy, that you do want to go away to college with them. It is pretty simple i think. You say just that. If they have no empathy or appreciation for your situation then there is no use trying to go to great effort to explain it to them because they just won’t care. Just keep it short and unemotional. Tell them you can’t afford to go away and that you are staying home. Do not be swayed or sucked in by any emotional arguments that they might use to try to change your mind because they will only be trying to manipulate you for their own cause - remember that they are selfish and lack empathy. And if you have any suspicion that they may be a serious narcissist then do not engage them at all beyond telling them of your decision because they are masters at manipulation and the best way to shut them down is not to engage them at all. Be critical of your friend and your friendship and identify what they want from you and your friendship also what you want from them and the friendship and that might help you decide how to approach them. Sorry for the long answer :)
I'm sorry this is so long and is just a huge info dump but I needed to talk about it somewhere other than with my mom. I know that staying at home is my best option and that is what I want. If anyone has any advice on how to tell an unempathetic person who is in a completely different tax bracket than you and is also very pushy that you don't want to do what they want you to do, I'd gladly listen.
Been doing really bad lately. Don’t Feel like doing anything, just want to sleep so time goes by. I’m just not living a life I enjoy right now. Every possible thing seems to go to sh*t. I Feel numb. Even the things and people I love doesn’t bring me any joy right now. Just writing it here cause I needed to ”say it” somehow and I really don’t want to talk with someone about it irl, it just doesn’t help for me cause I know they don’t truly understand or relate anyway.
Sarahxbunny wrote:
No worries about the long answer, it was really needed. I grew up with an incredibly narcissistic father and learning to say no has been a big journey for me. I've only started being able to say no to him and stand my ground this past September so I still have a long way to go. But I know that I can't and don't want to move away so I'm going to tell her that. I told myself that I'm going to do it on Friday so I can both build up the courage and I can have some time to shove it down and forget about it. I have been feeling recently that I've outgrown our friendship (we became friends freshman year of high school and we graduated in 2019) but I don't think I'm ready to tackle that hurdle yet. Every friend she's ever had other than me has left her because she's very cold and blunt and if I'm being honest, sometimes downright mean. But I'll get there. Thank you so much for the advice and help, I really appreciate it.It’s great that you are aware what it is that you want and is best for you because it it clear to us in your writing. I say that because a lot of people like you (I was similar btw) and in your situation would ignore what your head, heart and gut is telling you, and would just do what your friend wants of you. --- Be critical of your friend and your friendship and identify what they want from you and your friendship also what you want from them and the friendship and that might help you decide how to approach them. Sorry for the long answer :)
Call me Ezra pls :)
Ximboland stats
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Next Prime Ximbo election: 01.01.1970
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Best State Warriors this month:
nullplayer
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Legal Alien - lvl 44
mbbybbby
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State Minister - lvl 270
CarCrashBimbo
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Senator - lvl 57
Susan Slutzky
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Senator - lvl 260
Eunyce
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Fashion Manager - lvl 260
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Sexiest this week:
AikiraSora
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Senator - lvl 77
SinksTears
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Citizen - lvl 163
Sandi Lut
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State Minister - lvl 289
Mollie Mollie
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Citizen - lvl 139
Isolde
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Citizen - lvl 211
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Most reputable this week:
liza 5
- 821 points
Citizen - lvl 108
gum
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Senator - lvl 23
AikiraSora
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Senator - lvl 77
Yariman
- 593 points
Senator - lvl 19
Mollie Mollie
- 582 points
Citizen - lvl 139
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Best fighters this week:
Spiffyfunpants
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Senator - lvl 301
AikiraSora
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Senator - lvl 77
SilentlyScreaming
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Citizen - lvl 59
Slick_D
- 45 points
Citizen - lvl 114
Sophia_Aliza_01
- 40 points
Senator - lvl 64
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Best debaters this week:
Kyele
- 27 points
Citizen - lvl 196
califlower
- 24 points
Fashion Designer - lvl 75
AltAcc
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Legal Alien - lvl 30
sachele
- 17 points
Legal Alien - lvl 19
Hick Punk
- 16 points
Citizen - lvl 36
