Open Relationships: The Flutter [Issue 3]

Posts
14
Created
22.04.2022
Author
ButterfIy

Poll: Would you ever be receptive to an open relationship?

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Citizen

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Secville
22.04.2022 13:18:26
ButterfIy

Hello citizens of Secville,

Welcome to The Flutter, Issue 3. This week we'll be exploring open relationships!

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Open relationships are relationships where two people are not sexually monogamous. Personally, this type of relationship would not work for me; I think sex is something a couple should keep between themselves. Perhaps it's an old-fashioned way of thinking, however I just cannot wrap my head around those who feel comfortable enough to share their partner sexually.

What are your opinions on the matter, Secville? As always, feel free to answer the poll and other states can also partake in the discussion if they wish!

Love,



22.04.2022 13:18:26
I am pro-Israel, DNI if pro-Palestine, thank you!
Senator

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Freethinkerland
22.04.2022 14:25:42
LillyAnn

Interesting topic, B!
I share your opinion, have never been a fan of it. It is shocking how frequent open relationships are. I used to know some couple who were for years in open relationship. Usually one side (female) wanted to settle down and hoped for it to turn into a regular relationship, but it rarely happens.

22.04.2022 14:25:42

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Reasonopia
22.04.2022 15:44:51
MrsT

I won’t share my other half. No discussion needed. That’s why we got married. Now if he changes his mind - she better come pick him and his stuff up.
 I truly don’t believe an open relationship would work. Someone will get hurt feelings.

22.04.2022 15:44:51
MrsT
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Secville
22.04.2022 18:13:59
Loderi

I believe it's possible, but not common, for open relationships to work. However, it requires an even greater than usual amount of constructive communication, self-knowledge, and truthfulness between all parties.

And that's the part that really trips things up.

Judging from reddit and twitter drama, it is often that a man browbeats his girlfriend/wife into opening the relationship because he's tempted to stray but wants permission. He doesn't want to cheat, but is already planning to do so. So he goes out and finds that actually, he's not at all that attractive. And the browbeaten woman goes out, having her self-esteem battered, and suddenly finds that actually, she's attractive, no matter what her husband/boyfriend says. It nearly always works out that she finds partners readily and in doing so, finds that she much prefers the dating aspect without having to then subsequently do chores, become the secretary, or otherwise further couples laboring.

And then the man gets big mad and throws tantrums to close the relationship. But it's too late; she knows now that she can date how she likes AND it's fun. So she either breaks up with him and he never manages to trick other women into being with him, or she "stays" with him and torments him with further jealously from her subsequent partners.

Schadenfreude at its finest, I'll say. It would never have happened if the man could keep his mouth shut and value fidelity.

It's always going to be toxic if the man starts it with some strange idea that he will be the Polygamy Patriarch in the scenario. It gets especially weird if there are religious reasons for the attempt at polygamy.

I believe that open relationships can work more if one or both are in the LGBTQ+ spectrum. A bi person, for example, could wish to commit long term, but might have a partner understanding about their potential need to be experience sex with another gender. (I think depending more on sex toys ought to be tried first, but perhaps it is easier to seek out auxiliary penis for a bi person. I don't know) Or, a pair of lesbians who wish to be mothers AND unwilling to go through in vitro for whatever reason, finding a cooperative man friend who not only wants to be sperm donor, but present in the lives of his subsequent children.

Overall, I think it might succeed, but human nature usually won't let it happen.

22.04.2022 18:13:59
Citizen

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Freethinkerland
22.04.2022 18:39:09
Dye96

It can work for certain people, but personally I wouldn't be up for it. It would probably eat me up from both sides: what my bf would do and what I would do. I was never able to be attracted to men just from physical side without liking their personality, and I don't wanna get to know others anymore lol

22.04.2022 18:39:09
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Citizen

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Secville
22.04.2022 19:50:53
AuntieLice

I like them, it adds a bit of fun into the relationship.

22.04.2022 19:50:53
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Atheista
23.04.2022 22:41:56
homosexual divorcee

my relationship with monogamy is temperamental at best. my last relationship was monogamous, and it was better than any other relationship i've been in, but it's sometimes terrifying to think about being with one single person for the rest of my life and being limited by their hard limits and desires. when i think about that, and all of the people i've found attractive while in a relationship, suddenly open relationships make a whole lot of sense

23.04.2022 22:41:56
Citizen

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Secville
24.04.2022 01:40:09
ButterfIy

AuntieLice wrote:
I like them, it adds a bit of fun into the relationship.
Hmmm, the only fun thing about them is beating up the other person if you ask me!

24.04.2022 01:40:09
I am pro-Israel, DNI if pro-Palestine, thank you!
Citizen

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Secville
24.04.2022 12:44:41
bbcopperbottom

I used to think I could never ever but now I think I'd consider an open relationship. I wouldn't want it to be a super regular thing but if you're having a night out and dancing and things go a little further that wouldn't bother me. I personally am more a monogamous person than polyamorous so I would struggle with my partner having a strong emotional as well as physical relationship with someone. But one-off physical stuff I think could be fun :)

24.04.2022 12:44:41

Citizen

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Secville
25.04.2022 00:14:25
ButterfIy

I kinda get you, having sex with the same person until you die does seem a bit exhausting. Maybe I’m just too jealous for an open relationship though…

25.04.2022 00:14:25
I am pro-Israel, DNI if pro-Palestine, thank you!

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