Speak to someone you can't speak to right now

Posts
115
Created
31.03.2020
State Minister

Level 289
Sex Appeal 29638643
Reputation 304661
Posts 4285
Antitheocra
17.12.2020 00:42:56
Sandi Lut

My dear brother,

We both grew up a while with an abusive and manipulative father. Once our mom finally found a way to flee from that man you filled his shoes. I never told you this but it is not our father or our mother who has given me the biggest trauma in my life. Neither is the years of bullying towards me in high school from my fellow students.
YOU are the source of the biggest trauma in my life. Your aggressive and very violent temper has left a huge scar on my soul. My entire youth I have spent in fear of you. Fear of you sneaking in my room and killing me because you lost another discussion, because you lost a fight with me, because you were jealous of me. You struck a fear in me that will never leave. You have hurt me physically many times and mentally too.

After I moved out our mom's house we didn't speak for years. Then 20 years ago we grew towards each other some because we had a common interest, but my fear of you was always present. Every time you lost a discussion (and you lost so many because you are stupid, ignorant and you are incapable of listening) I was afraid that you again would grab a knife or a hammer or a screwdriver and come after me. Like you did when we were children. The only thing that kept me from giving into my fear was the psychological advantage I have on you. I knew I could always rely on my ability to talk my way out of your anger towards me.

In the past 15 years you actually showed some progress. You seemed to have learned from your mistakes and didn't throw a temper tantrum so often. You found some peace I thought. Then suddenly last summer you started to spew your hatred on our mother. You blame her for everything YOU do. Every mistake YOU made you blame on her. Then to make matters worse a few months ago you started to write to our father, desperately seeking his approval. And then you wrote this incredibly disgusting mail to our mother. Again blaming her for everything, even accusing her of making up stories about our father. You told our mom that you didn't want any contact with her anymore. And you started visiting your father regularly.

I was about to forgive you for the abuse you are responsible for in my youth, but then you started to threaten en stalk MY mother again. I say my mother because she is not your mother anymore. Neither are you my brother. You suddenly broke of all contact with me, very sudden I might add. I haven't even confronted you about what you said and are doing to my mother. But you chose to block me on social media, not answer the simple question I asked: Why did you block me. You are a coward and I realise it is you that is afraid of me. But after 45 years of your abuse and stupid mind games I am done. I can't do this anymore and I have to let you go. You died 3 weeks ago when you blocked me.

Goodbye my brother I will always love you but you are dead now. I have no brother anymore. It is done

17.12.2020 00:42:56
Happiness is inside yourself

Citizen

Level 37
Sex Appeal 40800
Reputation 21476
Posts 999
Atheista
21.03.2021 00:50:47
Mimbo Bimbo

I miss you

21.03.2021 00:50:47
Red lip? NO. Earrings? NO. High heels? NO. Handbag? NO.

Citizen

Level 28
Sex Appeal 16322
Reputation 11202
Posts 53
Freethinkerland
21.03.2021 18:11:52
madiii

Dear Anonymous,

     FUCK YOU for what you did to me. You ruined me. I used to be so lively and fun, now I'm always apologizing to people and keeping them from coming into my life. You were so manipulative and controlling. FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU! I can't believe I kept coming back to you and apologizing, I felt like I needed you. But what I really needed was someone who actually cared about how I felt, and who cared about my surroundings. I hope the next girl is way smarter than I was, and I hope she realizes how much of a shitty person you are sooner AND DUMP YOUR ASS. I hope you don't treat the next girl like shit, she doesn't deserve it. No one does.

21.03.2021 18:11:52
Everything will be okay, I love you. <3

Citizen

Level 54
Sex Appeal 125176
Reputation 41400
Posts 1089
Atheista
22.03.2021 14:31:44
THAT bitch

l,
i'm sorry about the way i treated you. you were the one person who made me feel safe when i was being targeted in my own home. you were the only one to truly love me the way i deserve to be loved. i'm so sorry that things fell out the way they did. i regret my actions everyday. i often find that i shift all of the blame onto myself out of guilt, when really, it was a two way street. i had untreated mental illness and we were young; not excusing things, but just explaining. i wonder what my life would be like if you stayed in my life. i truly believe we were soulmates, but not the kind that are meant to stay together forever. we were meant to meet at a time when we were both in need, and drift apart when that need was gone. but i still miss the way you made me feel. i haven't ever felt happiness like that. i would give anything to go back and change myself to make things work out. i'm so sorry. i miss you. 
- jere

22.03.2021 14:31:44
   - hugz <3



Legal Alien

Level 12
Sex Appeal 1322
Reputation 1154
Posts 5
Atheista
22.03.2021 21:14:20
missblogger

to my ex wtf stop venmoing me and apologize you idiot ...........

22.03.2021 21:14:20
they/them 


Citizen

Level 27
Sex Appeal 14761
Reputation 10728
Posts 110
Atheista
16.04.2021 03:13:02
risotto

dear ex friends



16.04.2021 03:13:02


Citizen

Level 25
Sex Appeal 12404
Reputation 10059
Posts 108
Atheista
08.05.2021 06:30:24
defromacja

i just want the hurting to stop

08.05.2021 06:30:24

Citizen

Level 22
Sex Appeal 7443
Reputation 5957
Posts 101
Freethinkerland
12.05.2021 23:27:39
cokehore

why did you do it? btw your apologi sucked...  

12.05.2021 23:27:39
Legal Alien

Level 83
Sex Appeal 455495
Reputation 137652
Posts 425
Freethinkerland
16.05.2021 22:28:08
clover carmen

my psychiatrist who scammed me and called me a burden, my art teacher who ridiculed me and said i would never amount to anything and that i am a waste of my parents' money, my math teachers who made my life a living hell when i was in school




16.05.2021 22:28:08
" This life of mine is temporary. My real-life begins in heaven. "
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Citizen

Level 15
Sex Appeal 2689
Reputation 2307
Posts 169
Reasonopia
07.07.2021 03:32:59
ringtrix

i miss you :(

07.07.2021 03:32:59

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