I entirely understand what you're saying Semi. People really can be the worst sometimes. It can be good to focus on yourself for a while. Trying to relax online can be fun, but spending time with people you trust and are very close with can also help remind you that there are people out in the world that truly care about you. It can also be useful to talk to the people you know about how you feel so that you can get advice from people who know you way better than some stranger on the internet. Currently wishing you good luck <3
how is everyone doing, really? vent to me baby.
"I thought I came but I peed on the dick" - Sun Tzu, Art of War
Pretty mid I guess things are so monotonous and I lay in bed questioning if anything even matters and I try not to think about it but we good
im spying on you
Trigger warning: Eating Disorder
I’m doing shitty honestly. I just got rejected from a job I applied to that I actually really wanted and it’s bothering me. My eating disorder also decided to come back in full swing and I’m definitely not going too hot with that either. I just wanted to get healthy and start working out but that didn’t last very long
I feel so stressed out about my relationship, my boyfriend is so well adjusted and he doesnt always understand my humor or know how to talk to me. i wish i was more normal and better at communicating. Its honestly a wholeee thing like that and sometimes i just dont feel too attracted and i wanna just be friends but everynow and then i get reminded that he does love me. So ill accept it, but i feel more sad, mad, angry, anxious and paranoid more often than not.
he call me sugar cookie cuz i got cocaine in my pussy
oof. been getting slayed a lot recently. i'm missing people who i used to be friends with a hell of a whole lot right now. i just miss feeling like im part of a community. i feel like an outsider wherever i go, and it really sucks to not feel like i belong anywhere.
TW: mentions of childhood abuse
my mom constantly takes my niece (9) and nephew (5) over for the weekends and its been really annoying to put it lightly. more often than not i hear my mom complain about the fact she has no time for herself, she works monday to friday and then takes the kids for the weekends. i've told her several times that nobody is blackmailing her into taking the kids every weekend, it doesn't have to be a constant thing. it can be a once in a while thing and they might appreciate the time they spend at our house more often. i mean, its gotten to the point where she uses me to threaten the kids because when they don't listen to her, i end up being the one to step in. the one thing is that they don't even listen to me anymore. their dad (my brother) encourages us to punish them by spanking, beating and shit and with the physical abuse i've endured in my childhood- i know better than the way that shit doesn't fucking work. back in my day, my dad wasn't around so my mom would always get my brother to 'punish' me or scream at me. at the age of 10 i was constantly being compared to my brothers accomplishments even though hes a whole 17 years older than me. to go back to my niece and nephew i feel sorry for them that my brother is their father but another side of me can't stop comparing how they're being raised compared to me. i'm not saying they have it easy because they get the same name calling treatment as i used to and they get spanked in the butt, but fucks sake- i constantly had my privacy breached from my brother, my mom would whip the absolute living shit out of me whether it was over something big or small, my brother would scream terrible things to me and his wife- whos suddenly SO AGAINST hitting children now that she has her own, would always encourage 'beating' and 'discipline' to my mom with me.. i wasn't allowed to have a phone till i was 17 because of my brother (when i got a job at 15 and bought my own phone and paid for the plan, that lasted around 3 months until i did another minor ((take my word for it when i say minor)) fuck-up and instantly it was taken away and never seen again.) and now his kids are running around with tik tok blasting on their phones full volume and they get in trouble every fucking day for not listening or not doing their chores or whatever the fuck. meanwhile god forbid i cleaned up the whole house and i missed a single spot, i remember my mom telling me to re-clean the whole house and it would result to me staying up and cleaning till 3am. the whole reason i clean up the whole house on my own till this day is once again- because of my brother.. i remember it was because i didn't have a good piano lesson and as a form of discipline i was told to clean up the house to teach me a lesson about how if i don't try hard enough i'll be doing that for a living. again, i was like fucking 12 when this happened. i had my whole life ahead of me to gain other accomplishments that would prove otherwise, i mean in the end i was the only one who actually graduated highschool meanwhile this buffoon dropped out at 17. he has his own business which is successful, but we are not the same fucking people. its so hard to not associate my past with him to how he raises his kids and now they're throwing the kids onto my mom whenever they get the chance and they're trying to mold me into being the same person my brother was to me. only i know how i feel about it all now and the last thing i need is for my niece and nephew to think of me the same way i think of my brother. i've told my mom several times to stop bringing both of them home. they don't behave well when they have each other around, someone pulls someone hair and the other throws a tantrum, or they punch each other and it causes a whole fuss, JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. not to mention whenever i lecture them they start smiling and laughing, i can't get them to take me seriously at all. today was the absolute breaking point and i already accepted i'm the bad guy today but idgaf. the kids sleep in my moms room and i heard my mom yell at them 5 times to go to bed. none of them would listen till i stepped in and told them off. this morning i get woken up by my nephew crying. he was crying for 10 whole fucking minutes because my niece did something to him. then he asks my mom to make food for him but because hes so fucking picky, my mom has to make things from scratch just so he can eat SOMETHING. we're sitting and he fills his mouth with so much food hes not able to swallow it. mom got pissed off, he had to spit half his food out, then when he kept nagging about it and my mom took his plate away, his huge fucking tantrum happened again which ultimately set me off. HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES DO I TELL MY MOM TO STOP THIS SHIT. ''oh but i love them i can't say no to them'' HOLY FUCK. HOLY FUCKING FUCK. all this does to me is thinking about HOW I WAS FUCKING RAISED. NOTHING LIKE THESE KIDS. if i was told no then NO MEANS NO. mom tells me that his wife set a rule that both of them go to our house on the weekends. I FUCKING TOLD HER AGES AGO BEFORE THIS RULE TO NOT FUCKING TAKE THEM BOTH. IT DOES NOT BRING ANYTHING GOOD TO THE TABLE. IT JUST ENDS IN FIGHTING AND ARGUING. GOOOOOOOD GOD. i'm so tired of typing this situation down, but to say i'm mega fucking annoying is an understatement.
my mom constantly takes my niece (9) and nephew (5) over for the weekends and its been really annoying to put it lightly. more often than not i hear my mom complain about the fact she has no time for herself, she works monday to friday and then takes the kids for the weekends. i've told her several times that nobody is blackmailing her into taking the kids every weekend, it doesn't have to be a constant thing. it can be a once in a while thing and they might appreciate the time they spend at our house more often. i mean, its gotten to the point where she uses me to threaten the kids because when they don't listen to her, i end up being the one to step in. the one thing is that they don't even listen to me anymore. their dad (my brother) encourages us to punish them by spanking, beating and shit and with the physical abuse i've endured in my childhood- i know better than the way that shit doesn't fucking work. back in my day, my dad wasn't around so my mom would always get my brother to 'punish' me or scream at me. at the age of 10 i was constantly being compared to my brothers accomplishments even though hes a whole 17 years older than me. to go back to my niece and nephew i feel sorry for them that my brother is their father but another side of me can't stop comparing how they're being raised compared to me. i'm not saying they have it easy because they get the same name calling treatment as i used to and they get spanked in the butt, but fucks sake- i constantly had my privacy breached from my brother, my mom would whip the absolute living shit out of me whether it was over something big or small, my brother would scream terrible things to me and his wife- whos suddenly SO AGAINST hitting children now that she has her own, would always encourage 'beating' and 'discipline' to my mom with me.. i wasn't allowed to have a phone till i was 17 because of my brother (when i got a job at 15 and bought my own phone and paid for the plan, that lasted around 3 months until i did another minor ((take my word for it when i say minor)) fuck-up and instantly it was taken away and never seen again.) and now his kids are running around with tik tok blasting on their phones full volume and they get in trouble every fucking day for not listening or not doing their chores or whatever the fuck. meanwhile god forbid i cleaned up the whole house and i missed a single spot, i remember my mom telling me to re-clean the whole house and it would result to me staying up and cleaning till 3am. the whole reason i clean up the whole house on my own till this day is once again- because of my brother.. i remember it was because i didn't have a good piano lesson and as a form of discipline i was told to clean up the house to teach me a lesson about how if i don't try hard enough i'll be doing that for a living. again, i was like fucking 12 when this happened. i had my whole life ahead of me to gain other accomplishments that would prove otherwise, i mean in the end i was the only one who actually graduated highschool meanwhile this buffoon dropped out at 17. he has his own business which is successful, but we are not the same fucking people. its so hard to not associate my past with him to how he raises his kids and now they're throwing the kids onto my mom whenever they get the chance and they're trying to mold me into being the same person my brother was to me. only i know how i feel about it all now and the last thing i need is for my niece and nephew to think of me the same way i think of my brother. i've told my mom several times to stop bringing both of them home. they don't behave well when they have each other around, someone pulls someone hair and the other throws a tantrum, or they punch each other and it causes a whole fuss, JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. not to mention whenever i lecture them they start smiling and laughing, i can't get them to take me seriously at all. today was the absolute breaking point and i already accepted i'm the bad guy today but idgaf. the kids sleep in my moms room and i heard my mom yell at them 5 times to go to bed. none of them would listen till i stepped in and told them off. this morning i get woken up by my nephew crying. he was crying for 10 whole fucking minutes because my niece did something to him. then he asks my mom to make food for him but because hes so fucking picky, my mom has to make things from scratch just so he can eat SOMETHING. we're sitting and he fills his mouth with so much food hes not able to swallow it. mom got pissed off, he had to spit half his food out, then when he kept nagging about it and my mom took his plate away, his huge fucking tantrum happened again which ultimately set me off. HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES DO I TELL MY MOM TO STOP THIS SHIT. ''oh but i love them i can't say no to them'' HOLY FUCK. HOLY FUCKING FUCK. all this does to me is thinking about HOW I WAS FUCKING RAISED. NOTHING LIKE THESE KIDS. if i was told no then NO MEANS NO. mom tells me that his wife set a rule that both of them go to our house on the weekends. I FUCKING TOLD HER AGES AGO BEFORE THIS RULE TO NOT FUCKING TAKE THEM BOTH. IT DOES NOT BRING ANYTHING GOOD TO THE TABLE. IT JUST ENDS IN FIGHTING AND ARGUING. GOOOOOOOD GOD. i'm so tired of typing this situation down, but to say i'm mega fucking annoying is an understatement.
click the magic leaf -> 
tbh idfk im chillin rn bc i took a fat dump after eating sm food yesterday, i hope everything gets better for yall tho <3
That Bitch♡
I'm totally good except the weather is depressing me. I wish I could move states. I haven't really been able to do but the minimum for homework/reading, but at least now it is Spring Break. Honestly today I felt a bit useless and I've felt that way the entire month, although I guess I made some pretty hopeful steps in my career path and I found a place to live. All areas of life crash down except one that soars. I still feel pretty disappointed at how when the evening comes I feel I hadn't done anything I wanted or needed to do.
Celtic goddess
tw suicide
my friend took his life and it doesn't even feel real, what do you mean he's gone?
my friend took his life and it doesn't even feel real, what do you mean he's gone?
April 3rd will be my 200 day milestone for quitting self harm and i honestly couldn’t be more proud. however april 4th is test and as a neurodivergent person who hates standardised testing idk how to feel about it but we power through <3
Ximboland news
Hot in the Town Square
Ximboland stats
-
Population:
Prime Ximbo:
Treasury (USD): $0.00
Next Prime Ximbo election: 01.01.1970
Next State Minister elections: 01.01.1970
State in Charge:
Social media: | |
-
Best State Warriors this month:
nullplayer
- 2592261 points
Legal Alien - lvl 44
mbbybbby
- 555319 points
State Minister - lvl 258
CarCrashBimbo
- 343302 points
Citizen - lvl 54
Susan Slutzky
- 275409 points
Senator - lvl 257
Eunyce
- 272687 points
Fashion Manager - lvl 222
-
Sexiest this week:
Susan Slutzky
- 321586 points
Senator - lvl 257
miruu
- 190058 points
Citizen - lvl 123
Clair-de-lune
- 132917 points
Citizen - lvl 95
Daisydear
- 94690 points
Citizen - lvl 109
lovelifegirl
- 89411 points
State Minister - lvl 239
-
Most reputable this week:
Spiffyfunpants
- 3352 points
Senator - lvl 292
Valore
- 2783 points
Senator - lvl 43
Layla Zenin
- 2576 points
Citizen - lvl 210
aphrodyke
- 1883 points
Citizen - lvl 60
Daisydear
- 1820 points
Citizen - lvl 109
-
Best fighters this week:
tibby
- 561 points
Minister of Entertainment - lvl 306
Spiffyfunpants
- 144 points
Senator - lvl 292
Layla Zenin
- 79 points
Citizen - lvl 210
BaddieMaddie
- 67 points
Citizen - lvl 250
Valore
- 60 points
Senator - lvl 43
-
Best debaters this week:
