this year was one of my highs. filled w/ self love and appreciation and my seasonal depression is making me feel like all my progress was 4 nothing /:
Mental Health check-in
dreamingdeadgirl
Addiction asf
How do you move on when something happens?
I've been in treatment for years & still get stuck when something happens. I still think about fight with my then partner. Sometimes it's something that happened once upon a time at work (& I haven't worked in months).
Providers say "just be mindful" or "just accept it" without actually helping me learn how to accept it.
What works for you?
I've been in treatment for years & still get stuck when something happens. I still think about fight with my then partner. Sometimes it's something that happened once upon a time at work (& I haven't worked in months).
Providers say "just be mindful" or "just accept it" without actually helping me learn how to accept it.
What works for you?
“If you know someone who’s depressed, please resolve never to ask them why. Depression isn’t a straightforward response to a bad situation; depression just is, like the weather.” ~Stephen Fry
Living with depression? Connect with others at the Mental Health Check-in.
Living with depression? Connect with others at the Mental Health Check-in.
CinnamonSugar wrote:
If it is something that just happened to be an argument somewhere, usually I reflect back on my behavior and on the other person's behavior, I try to find moments where maybe I could have handled things better or maybe said something different, then I try to understand the other person who I was arguing with and see if they were in the right or wrong to react how they did, after reflecting on the situation I tell myself that it has passed now, it happened and I can't change anything from it anymore, the best I can do is move on and try to be better, if I do find myself thinking about the situation again I tell myself to stop and to think about something else
A lot of it is accepting something happened, whether it could have been prevented or not, and that it is time to move on and promise to do better next time a similar situation happens
How do you move on when something happens?For me the best way to accept something like cutting off a person is thinking about the things that are much better without that person around, such as if you fought a lot think about how nice it is now that you're not fighting anymore, and that you now have much more energy without that person around or that you feel much better about yourself now that the person isn't around anymore who used to put you down
I've been in treatment for years & still get stuck when something happens. I still think about fight with my then partner. Sometimes it's something that happened once upon a time at work (& I haven't worked in months).
Providers say "just be mindful" or "just accept it" without actually helping me learn how to accept it.
What works for you?
If it is something that just happened to be an argument somewhere, usually I reflect back on my behavior and on the other person's behavior, I try to find moments where maybe I could have handled things better or maybe said something different, then I try to understand the other person who I was arguing with and see if they were in the right or wrong to react how they did, after reflecting on the situation I tell myself that it has passed now, it happened and I can't change anything from it anymore, the best I can do is move on and try to be better, if I do find myself thinking about the situation again I tell myself to stop and to think about something else
A lot of it is accepting something happened, whether it could have been prevented or not, and that it is time to move on and promise to do better next time a similar situation happens
CinnamonSugar wrote:
How do you move on when something happens?I think it depends on the type of event. Each event has its own method of coping... such as mourning the loss of a loved one is different from fighting someone and regretting it. Do you want something specific so I can narrow down my answer?
I've been in treatment for years & still get stuck when something happens. I still think about fight with my then partner. Sometimes it's something that happened once upon a time at work (& I haven't worked in months).
Providers say "just be mindful" or "just accept it" without actually helping me learn how to accept it.
What works for you?
19, she/he pronouns ONLY. Barely on the site anymore so don’t bother. Please don’t interact with me if we aren’t friends, it makes me incredibly uncomfortable and anxious.
hi, i don't mean to change the subject so you can just ignore me but i thought i'd ask anyways if anyone here has any experience with residential facilities? everyone around me really thinks i should go to one because of how bad my agoraphobia and such stops me from living life. i've only ever done outpatient hospitalization programs, in fact i just recently got out of one, but i'm really scared to even consider residential. so i thought i'd just ask if anyone here has any experience with them and could provide any insight. (i specifically mean residential over temporary inpatient, like when you stay for like 30-60 days, but even if you've went like a week in an inpatient hospital that'd still be helpful)
your reluctant optimist
peeslurper69 wrote:
That said, I have been temporarily inpatient multiple times now. My longest inpatient stay was 14 days. I've been to 4 different facilities. Some were more helpful than others. All were also very expensive (thousands per day). I don't think any would really help with agoraphobia, though.
I was always there for safety (as were most other patients). In my area, I think most people get admitted to an inpatient hospital if there is a concern that they will hurt themselves or others. I mostly felt like I was just being babysat. A lot of places just gave me coloring pages and sat me in a room with everyone else. Often times there was a TV available in the room. The staff checks in every 15 minutes (even through the night when we're sleeping) to make sure we're alive. On that note, there's no privacy. i.e. No bathroom doors. Often there was a curtain for privacy while changing.
One place was nicer than the rest. We had outdoor recess, including basketballs & maybe other exercise equipment. We had a yoga class. We had art therapy and music therapy...while these things made it better than being babysat, I don't think it would help agoraphobia.
Have you looked into residential programs? I think they tend to specialize. Ex. some only treat eating disorders. Some treat drug addictions. I looked into some that treat depression. It might be a good idea to research some online or call to make sure they treat agoraphobia.
i specifically mean residential over temporary inpatient, like when you stay for like 30-60 days, but even if you've went like a week in an inpatient hospital that'd still be helpfulI am interested in trying residential, too. Most of the ones in my area are 90+ days. In my area, they are also super expensive (thousands per day), but this likely depends on what country you are in and how healthcare is handled (i.e. private insurance vs. socialized medicine).
That said, I have been temporarily inpatient multiple times now. My longest inpatient stay was 14 days. I've been to 4 different facilities. Some were more helpful than others. All were also very expensive (thousands per day). I don't think any would really help with agoraphobia, though.
I was always there for safety (as were most other patients). In my area, I think most people get admitted to an inpatient hospital if there is a concern that they will hurt themselves or others. I mostly felt like I was just being babysat. A lot of places just gave me coloring pages and sat me in a room with everyone else. Often times there was a TV available in the room. The staff checks in every 15 minutes (even through the night when we're sleeping) to make sure we're alive. On that note, there's no privacy. i.e. No bathroom doors. Often there was a curtain for privacy while changing.
One place was nicer than the rest. We had outdoor recess, including basketballs & maybe other exercise equipment. We had a yoga class. We had art therapy and music therapy...while these things made it better than being babysat, I don't think it would help agoraphobia.
Have you looked into residential programs? I think they tend to specialize. Ex. some only treat eating disorders. Some treat drug addictions. I looked into some that treat depression. It might be a good idea to research some online or call to make sure they treat agoraphobia.
“If you know someone who’s depressed, please resolve never to ask them why. Depression isn’t a straightforward response to a bad situation; depression just is, like the weather.” ~Stephen Fry
Living with depression? Connect with others at the Mental Health Check-in.
Living with depression? Connect with others at the Mental Health Check-in.
thank you so much for your insight cinnamon! i live in the US and i have done some googling but i'm just getting really overwhelmed and the cost is definitely a big issue too lol. the lack of privacy and alone time is definitely something that would be offputting to me.
your reluctant optimist
CinnamonSugar wrote:
How do you move on when something happens?Great question Cinnamon. I have struggled with this too for most of my life. I used to constantly re-live encounters, conversations and conflicts I’d had with people and even ones I haven’t had, constantly focusing on the negative. It was one part of the negative self talk that ruled my head and drove my depression, and no matter how much progress I made through counselling it seemed to be part of me and i couldn't shake it. I had a wonderful psychologist who helped me a lot but she couldnt seem to help me on this matter. She offered the same solutions btw (e.g. mindfulness, ‘accept it and move on’) and when she finally suggested I ‘fake it til you make it’ i realised she had nothing of value to offer me and i felt totally alone - I felt like screaming and punching her but could see that she knew that she was out of answers. Anyway, she helped me build up a sense of a positive self-worth and love of myself (well i stopped hating myself at least). And one day I saw a quote that influenced my way of thinking - “Don't think less of yourself but think of yourself less” (originally by Rick Warren, ‘Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself’). And since reading that quote i have practised thinking less about the negative conversations and conflicts i have had with people and importantly about those that I haven’t had with people. I’ve stopped creating so many negative thoughts in my head and it has helped stop drive me into depression and depressive thoughts. The trick of course is finding something else to focus on and that involves looking outward into the world. I started focussing on the small things, in nature for example, or patterns on a wall, artwork, etc. It only needed to be a minute or so at a time, enough time to break the cycle. It is important to know that you are trying to change behaviour by creating a new one and a new routine. It takes a conscious effort particularly at first but it might be worth trying. You don't need to do it for long periods of time. I found benefit in doing this some days for just a few times, a few minutes a day. After a time I found myself thinking less the way i used to, though of course i have to be vigilant because I fall into old behaviours sometimes.
I've been in treatment for years & still get stuck when something happens. I still think about fight with my then partner. Sometimes it's something that happened once upon a time at work (& I haven't worked in months).
Providers say "just be mindful" or "just accept it" without actually helping me learn how to accept it.
What works for you?
i feeling really fucked rn, college is stressing me out
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