Mental Health check-in

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846
Created
08.07.2019
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Starbuck
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Freethinkerland
29.12.2020 00:41:20
Sarahxbunny

CinnamonSugar wrote:
My mum thinks she can yell at me every day an then just yell "sorry" as I walk away. Yeah, that'll make it all better...
Your post made me think about my experience Cinnamon, which was (my mother died years ago) the opposite to yours, and I thought i would share. I struggled with acute depression from a young age and no one spoke about it with me. Once my parents asked if i wanted to change high schools in my middle years which surprised me. I didnt much care either way, but i did. When i asked them years later why they asked if i wanted to change schools they said they thought i wasn’t happy. I laughed! Why didn't they just ask me if i was happy or not, or if they thought i was unhappy then why not ask me what was wrong? But no, I was left to my depression. I knew I had a problem when I started having suicidal compulsions in my early 20’s and i sought help with a psychologist. My parents were supportive but they didnt understand or talk about it. But i remember my mother walking into my room after my first session and talking to me, i didnt say much if anything because i was in a deep dark hole. Now she was a loving mother, we had a great relationship and she was a very good and caring person and always seemed to know the right things to say. All I remember is her crying and saying that she hoped that she hadn’t caused ‘this’ in some way. She was obviously feeling a huge amount of guilt. I literally respond. I felt that i should have told her that it wasn't her fault, to have eased her burden (even though she had some responsibility). I appreciated her openess but it was the worst moment i have shared with mother. Because what was most apparent was how completely fucked our personal and interpersonal understanding and communication of my mental health issues were. The moment past but it made an impression. No doubt Cinnamon each of yours makes an impression. It is unfortunate that there should still be such a lack of understanding and awareness within family of mental health issues and that break down in communication leads us to hurt those we love the most.

29.12.2020 00:41:20
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Freethinkerland
29.12.2020 01:01:33
CinnamonSugar

Thank you Miesha & Sarah for responding. 
I don't feel like discussing it further right now,  but I wanted to acknowledge your support. 

29.12.2020 01:01:33
“If you know someone who’s depressed, please resolve never to ask them why. Depression isn’t a straightforward response to a bad situation; depression just is, like the weather.” ~Stephen Fry
Living with depression? Connect with others at the Mental Health Check-in.
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Atheista
29.12.2020 08:02:02
fairybby

i don't want to rant, but im doing decent right now. not necessarily bad, but definitely not good. i haven't taken any of my medicine for a while, quite a few weeks in fact, and i haven't had a mental breakdown yet, so that's good. i know i should be taking my meds, but its such a burden. i hate it. anyways, i hope you all are, or will be, well. you all deserve it <3

29.12.2020 08:02:02
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Freethinkerland
29.12.2020 12:01:16
CinnamonSugar

fairybby wrote:
i don't want to rant, but im doing decent right now. not necessarily bad, but definitely not good. i haven't taken any of my medicine for a while, quite a few weeks in fact, and i haven't had a mental breakdown yet, so that's good. i know i should be taking my meds, but its such a burden. i hate it. 
It's understandable that you'd take a break. Psych meds often have side effects that people want a break from. 

I recently had a break from meds with permission from my psychiatrist. I had tried a new medication that didn't work and actually gave me hives. After 3 months, my psychiatrist agreed to let me take a break from meds after that. During the 2 month break, I was not as bad as I could have been, but also not good.

Edit: I don't want people to misunderstand & think I encourage recklessly stopping medication. Stopping some medication abruptly can result in withdrawal. 

29.12.2020 12:01:16
“If you know someone who’s depressed, please resolve never to ask them why. Depression isn’t a straightforward response to a bad situation; depression just is, like the weather.” ~Stephen Fry
Living with depression? Connect with others at the Mental Health Check-in.
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Agnostica
29.12.2020 15:44:54
Dubby

hi everyone!
my mental health has been a lot better, but im having conditions that point to brain cancer or temporal lobe epilepsy, so that's not so great!
recently ive been feeling anxious about online friends and kind of have this tendency to try and cut ties with them, but it doesnt usually work because i cant let go. so thats also somethin im strugglin with.
i hope everybimbo is doing better than me! i love you all!

29.12.2020 15:44:54
                   dubby wubby
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*       *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
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Atheista
29.12.2020 18:18:58
Chubbywaffels

This year has been the best and worst year or my life the love of my life and I had finally saved enough money so he could get his US citizenship. Which meant after getting that he could move in with me be able to get an actual job that wouldn’t pay him under the table and start looking into getting married and it got even more exciting because we found out I was pregnant and he wanted more than anything in this worldto be a father and everything felt like it finally was okay and I felt genuinely happy for the first time in my life and I’ll never be able to get that back bc September 16 he pasted away in the hospital I didn’t even get to say goodbye no one called to tell me what happened even tho he had gotten into the accident at 8pm and he didn’t die till 128 the next morning so now not only did I lose the only person that made me happy I now am a single mom and he’ll never gets to meet our daughter we’ll never get to get married and have more kid or do any of the things we talked about doing and I don’t even have time to be sad about it or try to proses it because I’m gonna have a baby in March and I have to prove to everyone that I can physically and mentally handle taking care of our daughter by myself 


29.12.2020 18:18:58

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Secville
30.12.2020 19:45:39
leonore

Moved from "lets be real here", originally posted at 2020-12-30 18:38:03
so december was wild. my friend told me to kword myself i'm failing all of my classes and my cat got hit by a car this morning. can't wait for this year to be over tbh...

30.12.2020 19:45:39


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Atheista
02.01.2021 04:00:14
THAT bitch

i'm falling super behind in my classes bc i'm currently switching my medications, and no one understands that, like, I physically cannot bring myself to do my work. also, my mom keeps using the wrong pronouns for me (not on purpose), but i'm to anxious to do anything about it bc if i say something i'll just get more questions and tension. i also just found out that i had been diagnosed with adhd for like two years and no one told me :)

02.01.2021 04:00:14
   - hugz <3



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Freethinkerland
03.01.2021 03:43:38
Sarahxbunny

THAT bitch wrote:
i'm falling super behind in my classes bc i'm currently switching my medications, and no one understands that, like, I physically cannot bring myself to do my work.
I understand completely, this is very disabling, and has been a big problem for me too in the last year with my work. I suffer chronic migraine and take medication to reduce the incidence and severity of migraine, but the side effects of the meds (and the migraines themselves) impact my health and mental health seriously and limit my ability to do a range of work and domestic activities. In the last year my incidence of migraine was relative low and i (with my Neurologists support) decided to reduce my meds in the hope that i didnt need such a high dose any more and that the side effects would be less and I’d see an improvement in quality of life. Unfortunately i had a big set back, my migraines became more frequent and intense and everything else suffered including my ability to work - I didnt miss a lot of days of work but i just wasn’t able to focus or concentrate on even basic tasks and i started missing timelines and not completing work and became anxious I’d lose my job. My supervisor knows of my problems and is supportive but even so I feel that there is an acceptable limit of failure that the company will put up with and so i dont feel comfortable exposing the fullness of my disabilities and limitations for fear of being let go - i try to cover them up which causes me further anxiety. But then i feel that it is only a matter of time that my failings catch up with me and i get the sack, so I think i should probably just speak up anyway - it’s a catch 22. We still have a long way to go for people to feel comfortable speaking openly about health and mental health issues in the workplace. 


03.01.2021 03:43:38
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Freethinkerland
03.01.2021 11:01:50
CinnamonSugar

Trigger warning: Suicide

leonore
wrote:
Moved from "lets be real here", originally posted at 2020-12-30 18:38:03
so december was wild. my friend told me to kword myself i'm failing all of my classes and my cat got hit by a car this morning. can't wait for this year to be over tbh...
To be honest, I re-read this multiple times. I think you are saying that your friend told you to kill yourself, which is very sad and is a very inappropriate thing for someone to say. Do you personally think about hurting yourself? 

I don't know what country you live in. The only International help I know of is the Samaritans. They are based in the UK, but they respond to emails from any country, as long as they are in English. Whether you are suicidal or just stressed, it may be helpful to write it all out in an email to them. A trained volunteer will respond. 

03.01.2021 11:01:50
“If you know someone who’s depressed, please resolve never to ask them why. Depression isn’t a straightforward response to a bad situation; depression just is, like the weather.” ~Stephen Fry
Living with depression? Connect with others at the Mental Health Check-in.

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