[Chapter 1]
My current girlfriend is confusing me. Can a woman be to good to be true?
My life is totally a 'Movie Story-line' sometime's. I have to write about this today's ' DATE '.
I'm beginning to wonder why a woman cleaning my office and only extended a hand of friendship to me, is suddenly spending a fortune of money on me. Constantly asking me out on date's when she know's I'm totally a very naughty girl and very dangerous to be with.
Worse : Why is a respectable religious woman, wanting to play with a retired dancer and party-girl who's idea of fun is getting naked and sweaty wearing glitter and spilled champagne.....
I'm not sure how to feel about this woman because I've never had a woman like her take an interest in me like this.
I'm not sure what she expect's from me I'm not sure how I should feel. I tell her to stop trying to buy me thing's, and she refuses to listen to me. I tell her I need 'Nothing', and she begin's to buy 'art' for my home because she said 'It need it'.
OMG, seriously? I was speechless, to that sort of female reasoning
.
It has become a habit for her to buy me gift's after a personal show for her. I do nothing special, and she is dazzled into doing something silly like spending her hard earned money on me. Shoe's for just warming up on a Pole? Haha Not Needed.
In this situation I feel awful accepting her gift's, but do so with pure grace and style. This has proven to be exceptionally exciting to her. I fear, I could manipulate her even more easily, than I could a man. She is amazed by my body so much that she must touch it and posses it. She is trying to buy a woman, namely me. At least that is how I feel accepting gift's for just playing with a woman, the same way as I used to play with fellow dancer's during practice. I'm doing nothing unusual for me, but for my new girlfriend, she is Totally over-reacting in providing me with , the 'thing's' she thinks will make me happy, in return. How can I get upset about it? It's totally sweet and kind for her to do that for me. Love is an emotion, I haven't practiced in a very long time. I 'fake it' Very WELL as an actress.
Now I find myself trapped into being really good actress, trying to act like a normal friend around her.
Everything I do, draws her to want to be with me more.
Lust...... A woman's pure fascination with the physical body of another woman.
She calls it love, and I quiver/shiver, and hate the power I have over another woman's emotion's right now through my sexuality. I must be very careful with her, because she is totally unstable falling in love with a woman for the first time in her life.
The dance alone, for her is my reward. Letting someone watch me as I dance naked and feel comfortable doing it, is PRICELESS. I love how she treat's me when I'm at my most vulnerable point of dance. I like an audience like her, and only her. One very happy woman, to imagine and focus on while in total personal and physical pain. I push myself instead of slowing down as any retired dancer naturally would, but I find myself, pushing myself harder again, to new personal limit's for a woman I love being with. Ever becoming a little more religious myself. Yes, I thanked God for my new friend and lover. She is unique !!!
I love knowing she is watching and would help me if I fall. I need her, and love her despite our obvious differences.
A religious woman just doesn't understand my point of view about nakedness. I find it very frustrating. She sometime's is bitter about my past stories. Judgmental about a lifestyle she never was in and sees no benefit in because she is a religious person. I was raised Christian too, so I understand her, and why she is finding me so fascinating right now.
All of these reason's is actually what make's me sexually perform with 'Wild-Abandon' around her.
She finds my body frustrating too. I sort of think she feels like she wasted her youth when she had that perfect body of a 21 year old woman every time she looks at me spinning on a pole. Then she get's crazy and buy's me clothes. She is worse than any man I've ever met...... She has very fine taste. This make's it bad for me......
I wear her gift's. Then she feels proud, and the cycle continue's..........
A daughter or a whore?
A mother watching her daughter be a slut?
Or.... Do you see, my emotional confusion ?
My girlfriend is acting like a 'beauty-pageant' mother around me in public and Stunned into total attention with me when I get Naked. This is a power I have over her, that is very wicked. God is testing me, and my honor right now.
I will not take advantage of another woman, EVER.
I'm just worried where all this money is coming from. I'm sexually performing with a Mexican Legal Resident right now, who seems to have a bottomless bank account who clean's my office in America.
Now I'm being asked to run away with her to travel the world, all expenses paid.
My current girlfriend is confusing me. Can a woman be to good to be true?
My life is totally a 'Movie Story-line' sometime's. I have to write about this today's ' DATE '.
I'm beginning to wonder why a woman cleaning my office and only extended a hand of friendship to me, is suddenly spending a fortune of money on me. Constantly asking me out on date's when she know's I'm totally a very naughty girl and very dangerous to be with.
Worse : Why is a respectable religious woman, wanting to play with a retired dancer and party-girl who's idea of fun is getting naked and sweaty wearing glitter and spilled champagne.....
I'm not sure how to feel about this woman because I've never had a woman like her take an interest in me like this.
I'm not sure what she expect's from me I'm not sure how I should feel. I tell her to stop trying to buy me thing's, and she refuses to listen to me. I tell her I need 'Nothing', and she begin's to buy 'art' for my home because she said 'It need it'.
OMG, seriously? I was speechless, to that sort of female reasoning
.
It has become a habit for her to buy me gift's after a personal show for her. I do nothing special, and she is dazzled into doing something silly like spending her hard earned money on me. Shoe's for just warming up on a Pole? Haha Not Needed.
In this situation I feel awful accepting her gift's, but do so with pure grace and style. This has proven to be exceptionally exciting to her. I fear, I could manipulate her even more easily, than I could a man. She is amazed by my body so much that she must touch it and posses it. She is trying to buy a woman, namely me. At least that is how I feel accepting gift's for just playing with a woman, the same way as I used to play with fellow dancer's during practice. I'm doing nothing unusual for me, but for my new girlfriend, she is Totally over-reacting in providing me with , the 'thing's' she thinks will make me happy, in return. How can I get upset about it? It's totally sweet and kind for her to do that for me. Love is an emotion, I haven't practiced in a very long time. I 'fake it' Very WELL as an actress.
Now I find myself trapped into being really good actress, trying to act like a normal friend around her.
Everything I do, draws her to want to be with me more.
Lust...... A woman's pure fascination with the physical body of another woman.
She calls it love, and I quiver/shiver, and hate the power I have over another woman's emotion's right now through my sexuality. I must be very careful with her, because she is totally unstable falling in love with a woman for the first time in her life.
The dance alone, for her is my reward. Letting someone watch me as I dance naked and feel comfortable doing it, is PRICELESS. I love how she treat's me when I'm at my most vulnerable point of dance. I like an audience like her, and only her. One very happy woman, to imagine and focus on while in total personal and physical pain. I push myself instead of slowing down as any retired dancer naturally would, but I find myself, pushing myself harder again, to new personal limit's for a woman I love being with. Ever becoming a little more religious myself. Yes, I thanked God for my new friend and lover. She is unique !!!
I love knowing she is watching and would help me if I fall. I need her, and love her despite our obvious differences.
A religious woman just doesn't understand my point of view about nakedness. I find it very frustrating. She sometime's is bitter about my past stories. Judgmental about a lifestyle she never was in and sees no benefit in because she is a religious person. I was raised Christian too, so I understand her, and why she is finding me so fascinating right now.
All of these reason's is actually what make's me sexually perform with 'Wild-Abandon' around her.
She finds my body frustrating too. I sort of think she feels like she wasted her youth when she had that perfect body of a 21 year old woman every time she looks at me spinning on a pole. Then she get's crazy and buy's me clothes. She is worse than any man I've ever met...... She has very fine taste. This make's it bad for me......
I wear her gift's. Then she feels proud, and the cycle continue's..........
A daughter or a whore?
A mother watching her daughter be a slut?
Or.... Do you see, my emotional confusion ?
My girlfriend is acting like a 'beauty-pageant' mother around me in public and Stunned into total attention with me when I get Naked. This is a power I have over her, that is very wicked. God is testing me, and my honor right now.
I will not take advantage of another woman, EVER.
I'm just worried where all this money is coming from. I'm sexually performing with a Mexican Legal Resident right now, who seems to have a bottomless bank account who clean's my office in America.
Now I'm being asked to run away with her to travel the world, all expenses paid.
