BambiDoll wrote:
I was lucky that my husband and I met in a collage 300 miles away from his mother, and 500 miles away from any of my family members. We were basically stranded together in a world we made for ourselves. When I told my mother I was pregnant my parents bought a house in the same city that my husband and I were living in at the time. My decision, was; I bought a house 1000 miles away from my parents, and 200 miles away from his parents and ran away again. I swore to myself my children would have nothing to do with their grandfather. This hurt my mother, but she also understood my reasons. My husbands family received the blessings of being somewhat close to our children because of the love I saw in his parents for him and his love for them too. I wasn't about to hurt the relationship he had with his family just because I hated my own father. I compromised and it worked out very well.
Now my children are adults, and think their grand-father is awesome. He throws money at them, to visit now as adults themselves. He will spend anything now to see his great grandchildren before he dies. My advice to my children is: GO FOR IT. I don't fear for my grandson and there is some good for my son and his wife to learn a little something about the finer things in life, like five star restaurants, and beautiful places. My father did always have a certain flair for very fine 'play-days, and his days are numbered. I see it as his way of making amends to me through my children. I still will only talk to him, and that is an improvement in our relations... My mothers last words to me 4 days before she was murdered was, " You need to give him a chance, and forgive him."
Easier said than done, but I'm not running away anymore. It's a baby step for me. I didn't make my children hate him too.
"Wish fulfilled my dear MOTHER", as best I can.
Last night the boy was telling me that he's coming back home to his parents this weekend, but we won't get to see each other...This is such a profound statement, that took me a very long time to realize myself. I think it took me becoming a mother myself to really learn why I find what Bambie's boy did; that is so special too. Linear time is not a concept easily understood. If a boyfriend can take time away from his own sexual/romantic interests for his mother's comfort and health, imagine what he will be like to the mother of his OWN child. There is lines that can be crossed however, because you don't want a pure 'momma's boy that runs at her beckon call, for trivial things. Yet, it is a good sign to start with. My oldest son came running to my side too, when he found out I was crushed by a boat in the local news media. I didn't bother to call him, because I was alive and was going to be fine, but he saw my truck and a boat trailer (not mine) in the background of the reporters 30 second clip. Good sons notice such things and do that sort of thing for their mothers. Saving lives from waterfalls seems to generate a lot of unwanted attention.
...because he has returned home to take care of his sick mother, and cheer her up!
I didn't think it were possible to find him more attractive than I already did, but he's truly outdone himself.
I was lucky that my husband and I met in a collage 300 miles away from his mother, and 500 miles away from any of my family members. We were basically stranded together in a world we made for ourselves. When I told my mother I was pregnant my parents bought a house in the same city that my husband and I were living in at the time. My decision, was; I bought a house 1000 miles away from my parents, and 200 miles away from his parents and ran away again. I swore to myself my children would have nothing to do with their grandfather. This hurt my mother, but she also understood my reasons. My husbands family received the blessings of being somewhat close to our children because of the love I saw in his parents for him and his love for them too. I wasn't about to hurt the relationship he had with his family just because I hated my own father. I compromised and it worked out very well.
Now my children are adults, and think their grand-father is awesome. He throws money at them, to visit now as adults themselves. He will spend anything now to see his great grandchildren before he dies. My advice to my children is: GO FOR IT. I don't fear for my grandson and there is some good for my son and his wife to learn a little something about the finer things in life, like five star restaurants, and beautiful places. My father did always have a certain flair for very fine 'play-days, and his days are numbered. I see it as his way of making amends to me through my children. I still will only talk to him, and that is an improvement in our relations... My mothers last words to me 4 days before she was murdered was, " You need to give him a chance, and forgive him."
Easier said than done, but I'm not running away anymore. It's a baby step for me. I didn't make my children hate him too.
"Wish fulfilled my dear MOTHER", as best I can.
