@ Above 2 posts ______
Both have so much meaning to me because of " Timing".
You must understand June 21st would have been my 27th wedding anniversary, to my husband, had he not died very suddenly from a very aggressive form of gastric cancer.
I lost my mind, and went totally crazy, reverting back to inventing a 'Whole new life' for myself beginning when I was in my 20's. No children yet, and a little trampy dancer.
THE ULTIMATE DO OVER !!!
Right now, I could write what most likely would be the most romantic love affair, I'm having with my best friend......
Judge me as you will, but I have absolutely no regret's finally having sex with my best friend of 3 and a half year's.
It happened on June the 21st, and I really felt like it was a gift from an angel/God, or just was meant to be..........
My husband always liked to surprise me with hand made gift's, and having Jackie throw herself at me, and actually request to have a sexual encounter with me was something I would have NEVER asked her to do with me because of her married situation.
So I'm very much at a loss of how to talk about it, much less, know what I should do next. I'm still not sure why she did it, but I could see her mindset, because that day she came to my house, and left, and returned 3 time's, before she actually settled down and committed herself to Pure pleasure. No worries about getting pregnant, she just let me appreciate her body as I have appreciated her soul for so many year's as just friend's.
Crossing the line, AND having sex with your best friend, totally made all the conversations I've had with her Very Real....
Watching her have an orgasm, just manipulating her body,was my dream come true..... For her, it was an orgasm she never felt before in her 31 year's of life having sex. She felt her body behaving in an entirely different way than she ever felt with a man, and mentioned it a lot, because she never has had someone pay attention to her pleasure before.... and I found that so exciting too.
It really was an answer to a secret fantasy, I've had with Jackie from the day I met her. 13 year's ago in total, and she was a 17 year old, at a dance show I was in, and she introduced herself to me after the show. I greeted her, and forgot about her for many year's later, till she showed up moving into a home next door to me. BFF's after that !!!!
This affair took a VERY long time, in happening, but obviously for good reason's. She need the time to make the children, I wish to call my own !!!!
I love her children as much as my own and she has seen the Proof of it. Our Baby, Tieanne doesn't understand why she needs to go home to a Shit infected slum, with her very own mother, after sharing some family time in my 'Clean' home. Jackie is just used to pure neglect by her own family member's, and is seriously living in a rat/cat/ shit-filled aunt's home with 3 young children. Even I refuse to enter the home for the fear of getting bug's in my hair.
[ Oh it is so Bad, I find it hard to believe American citizens actually live like that. ]
I am totally 'glowing' right now like a newlywed, believe it or not but people have noticed a serious change in me, at work, for the past 2 day's.
Suddenly we both are feeling emotion's most people leave behind after Puberty. Even I cannot fully explain or put into word's how much I needed her, to answer a lingering question I had. Would she enjoy me, as much as my stories about other lover's, in the form of gossip?
I don't know how to 'Date, a woman who feels lonely,' because I've never really been in the same situation, when LOVE, matters to me. I love Jackie with all my heart, but she has never done something like this before with a woman, and every cell in my body tells me ; to give her all the time she needs with her husband to sort thing's out. I'm glad she chose me to have her "rebound" sexual encounter with.... It kept her safe, and she knows I will not complicate the matter between her husband and herself.......... So in a way; I just helped heal her emotional wounds, without making new problem's... * Her husband likes me too, so he will never suspect it was me that offered that sexual service to his wife, but she so needed it, and I felt honored she came to me, with her needs.
All the emotion's of loss, and the future are ' in play ' right now for me...... but one must remember, Life is for the Living.
The dead, and loved, don't want you to suffer.
Did my husband give me his approval from beyond the GRAVE ?
It certainly feels like it to me !!!!!!!!!!!!! He seems to have handed me the Best Anniversary Gift any woman could ever wish for.
A woman to cuddle with, and 3 children to raise to be happy and successful adult's.
[ Like our own children turned out to be. ]
I seem to get Gift's from Heaven, Only a God could give me,
[and Yet,] I still need to play by the rule's of life, to keep that gift, I cherish so much,
Including when to let : Jackie deal with her own fight's and demons.
Both have so much meaning to me because of " Timing".
You must understand June 21st would have been my 27th wedding anniversary, to my husband, had he not died very suddenly from a very aggressive form of gastric cancer.
I lost my mind, and went totally crazy, reverting back to inventing a 'Whole new life' for myself beginning when I was in my 20's. No children yet, and a little trampy dancer.
THE ULTIMATE DO OVER !!!
Right now, I could write what most likely would be the most romantic love affair, I'm having with my best friend......
Judge me as you will, but I have absolutely no regret's finally having sex with my best friend of 3 and a half year's.
It happened on June the 21st, and I really felt like it was a gift from an angel/God, or just was meant to be..........
My husband always liked to surprise me with hand made gift's, and having Jackie throw herself at me, and actually request to have a sexual encounter with me was something I would have NEVER asked her to do with me because of her married situation.
So I'm very much at a loss of how to talk about it, much less, know what I should do next. I'm still not sure why she did it, but I could see her mindset, because that day she came to my house, and left, and returned 3 time's, before she actually settled down and committed herself to Pure pleasure. No worries about getting pregnant, she just let me appreciate her body as I have appreciated her soul for so many year's as just friend's.
Crossing the line, AND having sex with your best friend, totally made all the conversations I've had with her Very Real....
Watching her have an orgasm, just manipulating her body,was my dream come true..... For her, it was an orgasm she never felt before in her 31 year's of life having sex. She felt her body behaving in an entirely different way than she ever felt with a man, and mentioned it a lot, because she never has had someone pay attention to her pleasure before.... and I found that so exciting too.
It really was an answer to a secret fantasy, I've had with Jackie from the day I met her. 13 year's ago in total, and she was a 17 year old, at a dance show I was in, and she introduced herself to me after the show. I greeted her, and forgot about her for many year's later, till she showed up moving into a home next door to me. BFF's after that !!!!
This affair took a VERY long time, in happening, but obviously for good reason's. She need the time to make the children, I wish to call my own !!!!
I love her children as much as my own and she has seen the Proof of it. Our Baby, Tieanne doesn't understand why she needs to go home to a Shit infected slum, with her very own mother, after sharing some family time in my 'Clean' home. Jackie is just used to pure neglect by her own family member's, and is seriously living in a rat/cat/ shit-filled aunt's home with 3 young children. Even I refuse to enter the home for the fear of getting bug's in my hair.
[ Oh it is so Bad, I find it hard to believe American citizens actually live like that. ]
I am totally 'glowing' right now like a newlywed, believe it or not but people have noticed a serious change in me, at work, for the past 2 day's.
Suddenly we both are feeling emotion's most people leave behind after Puberty. Even I cannot fully explain or put into word's how much I needed her, to answer a lingering question I had. Would she enjoy me, as much as my stories about other lover's, in the form of gossip?
I don't know how to 'Date, a woman who feels lonely,' because I've never really been in the same situation, when LOVE, matters to me. I love Jackie with all my heart, but she has never done something like this before with a woman, and every cell in my body tells me ; to give her all the time she needs with her husband to sort thing's out. I'm glad she chose me to have her "rebound" sexual encounter with.... It kept her safe, and she knows I will not complicate the matter between her husband and herself.......... So in a way; I just helped heal her emotional wounds, without making new problem's... * Her husband likes me too, so he will never suspect it was me that offered that sexual service to his wife, but she so needed it, and I felt honored she came to me, with her needs.
All the emotion's of loss, and the future are ' in play ' right now for me...... but one must remember, Life is for the Living.
The dead, and loved, don't want you to suffer.
Did my husband give me his approval from beyond the GRAVE ?
It certainly feels like it to me !!!!!!!!!!!!! He seems to have handed me the Best Anniversary Gift any woman could ever wish for.
A woman to cuddle with, and 3 children to raise to be happy and successful adult's.
[ Like our own children turned out to be. ]
I seem to get Gift's from Heaven, Only a God could give me,
[and Yet,] I still need to play by the rule's of life, to keep that gift, I cherish so much,
Including when to let : Jackie deal with her own fight's and demons.
